Dreams that Haunt me

And of people

2010-12-30T09:24:00.000-08:00

So I started the year with pretty high hopes. I knew I wanted to study so I did. I knew I wanted to play music so I did. I knew I wanted to keep the friends that I had so I did. What I wasn't keen was the prospect of change.

So you can't control external factors such as people. People change, yeah sure. But who would've guessed to this extent? I thought I had to be a good friend scratch that, a proper best friend to a certain someone who needed me. I practically abandoned everyone, turning to a social retard. Call it naivety, but I believed in doing something that needs to be done. And in this case, being there for her. But one thing lead to another and I suddenly ended up lonelier than I could've expected. In some sense, I had my school life revolve around that one person. It filled me with so much misery that such a promising friendship could go so bad. We had arguments. A lot of them. And it was all due to lack of communication. Oblivious on both parts. Maybe it's better to let go. To not be so close any more.

Best friends seem to be an over rated term. Or maybe I'm the one who's throwing the term too freely to my own accord. All I know is I lost a bro this year. It was probably coming, but I couldn't take it any longer. I am done sticking up for him. I am done tolerating his shit. I bail. It's a little too late to be appreciating me now, but I don't think I can ever find room in my heart, to ever forget what was done. I am not sorry for feeling this way too. I've always had big dreams planned for us. Music especially. But maybe you're not as enthusiastic as I am when it comes to music. Or our ideals clash. Whatever it is, it's better to just fade now. It's time to separate. I have come to terms with that.

I find it funny how your close friends also back stab you from time to time. What is funny is the fact that you have helped them so much, but they completely disregard it due to a childish reasoning. That's boys for you. Simple minded oafs. Note that I am using the term boys and not men. I believe most guys at my age are just over sized infants. How am I wrong? Look at them. There isn't much maturity shown.

I also thought I could make a best friend with this new kid in school. We were really close, and it seemed nice for a long while. But that was soon to die away, and I saw her for what she really is. She might be nice and all, but she isn't right for me. Not as best friends anyway. I'm just disappointed in how a lot of people turn out this year. But you know what they say, Form 4 is when you start seeing people for who they are.

I also did shit for finals. *sobs. I thought I had built great momentum throughout this whole year, but I just seemed to mess it up towards the end. At least now I know that I really need to focus for Form 5.

I started getting occupied with a lot of school activities this year, namely: prefectorial board and student council. I was really excited at the idea of being the assistant or even head prefect of my school! I worked my ass off, though some of them worked harder. The shame of it all when I realized that I didn't get past the elections! It felt as if all of it was for nothing. What irked me more was the fact that some people who never lifted a finger to do anything, obtained it easily. School politics are far more complicated than I would've imagined. I took it personally too. But time past, and I had to come to terms with it. I still have a lot to say on the matter though.

And Phantom Of The Opera happened! That was probably one of the highlights of this year. Seeing that charity bazaar's happenings had me mardy the whole day. It started from something so small, to something so spectacular! And the best part was it was all engineered by the students!(save the lightings, since it had to be done professionally) I am proud to have been of the script writing team and then participated in the play itself as the ONLY MALE dancer! Call it sexual discrimination but I had lots of fun. It was this completely new world and for 60 minutes of your life, you're an actual star on stage. I played at Glastonbudget and at some public gigs, and even performed at school a few times but nothing comes close to this. The sheer thrill of it back then, was hair raising. The sad part was how most of us fell apart after it ended. It was as if this picture perfect family came to a ruin.

The only good to come out of that were the VALEDICTORIANS. Aysha, Anis, Alia, Amelia, Zafran(Aqil) and me. It's pretty odd considering I'm the only one who doesn't start with an A. It's more than just a group of friends, it feels like family. Though we have our arguments every now and then, we still are as close as ever. How I wish I never wasted 2009 with idiots and instead with them. They have proved to be more than I could ever wish for, from people. I love them all from head to toe.

And about love? Still pretty unsuccessful. I think I have hardened my heart, due to being friends with Anis. She has this realistic point of view that really is captivating. I mean even if you were to deny it, you can't. Cos it's just plain logic.

I thought 2010 was a year to get over you. Obviously, this did not happen. I mean we don't even talk. Still. It's always just me talking bout me. I know nothing about you. I've had enough. You seem happy too with him. Finally you have someone. And though there's pain my chest, I still wish you the best with a f**k you. I hope you're really happy. It's the least I could hope for, seeing you made me who I am today. But...I just can't be around you any more. It'd be nice if we could go our separate ways. Nothing would be more pleasing than that.

On a side note, I was really happy towards the end of 2010. I met someone who seemed perfect for me. But maybe we're taking things too fast. I still want to be with her, though relationships are stupid. There is no harm in just liking someone and staying that way yes?

I'm glad some of my best friends, stayed as my best friends this year. Amsyar, Faidhi and Min. I don't think I could've struggled through without them. I am really thankful to you guys from the bottom of my heart. I should also thank the Vs for influencing me a lot this year. They have been nothing short of splended

Especially Nur Anis Fasiehah Binti Dato' Farid. Most favourite person in the world~

You taught me that being me is good. It's amazing how you can know next to nothing about something but still come out as intelligent. Maybe it's because you are actually smart! Loldos. Prancing around as Mr. Douche and Ms. Fancy will forever be imprinted on my mind as my best memory of 2010. Thank you for replying my texts at 3/4 am in the morning to calm me down. Heck for even calming me down during every of my emo fits. You also made me mature a lot more this year. And it's funny how we connect on a paranormal level! It must be because we are both too hipster~ Honestly? I am blessed to have someone like you as my best friend :3
kthanksciao

That pretty much sums up 2010. Was full of disappointment and separation, but I gained a lot more than I have lost. I am content. What more can I ask for?

Thoughts Galore

2010-12-04T11:41:00.001-08:00

Most favourite person in the world: Nur Anis Fasiehah.

When you stay too long in your comfort zone, you tend to forget how harsh everything can be. And how it still hurts. So maybe we don't talk much, I still called you my best friend. And it got me thinking ... what is the relevance of the term anyway? Someone who stands by you tall and strong? Someone who knows you best? Someone who is a pillow? Or maybe the friend with privileges? At times, I wish there was a textbook explanation on the subject of matter.

Still, I think such terms are thrown away too freely. The same goes for such trivial words such as love and hate and so on. People should know the implications of using such harsh, demeaning and at times, affectionate words. It's particularly surprising on how I thought I didn't care, but in actual fact, I do.

The term best should be saved for someone worthy of the title. It means that there are no other comparisons. The word itself suggests the highest quality in itself. People can be swayed by such terms. It also makes them forget and will result in disappointment later on.

The point I'm trying to make is, please refrain from using such words. Especially those with meanings that mere teenagers won't be able to fathom. They will, more often than not, incur in grudges, hatred and pure regret. Save the person from such emotions and consequently, your own pride. Stand by your words, cos at the end of the day, it's the only instrument of measuring one's worth. No one likes to be fooled too. Especially by your cheap shallow words.

Feeling the knocks just yet?

She's Got The Rhythm

2010-10-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

Finals are on Monday. Definitely screwed. Honestly, I have yet to put in the effort needed to cement whatever good grades that might be achievable. I plan to do just as well, or if not better for Finals. Which would mean 7 A's and above. Shucks.

I think I like you. Okay maybe I already know that I do. It doesn't help that you don't even know I exist. But really, I would like to get to know you.

And I just watched a video that invoked sad and depressing emotions! Even Anis, got all sad.

Lol, Anis Fasiehah never fails to crack me up. Goodnight.

I Am A Popular Sanguin

2010-09-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Quiz

The Sun Will Shine On Through

2010-09-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

I must be thinking too much. Yet again. I hate the fact that sometimes I allow things to get to me, even if they're not much. Maybe I just need someone to talk to again.

I failed to attend add maths tuition with some of my valedictorians due to my parents wanting all of us to go shopping. It would've been pleasurable if I actually attained the stuff I wanted. Which I did not. I think I was rather selfless to give Amie the Springfield shoes and not make a big fuss about it. I still need new shoes though. I can't be expected to wear my black Zara shoes everywhere. I need a bright colour everyday shoe :/ I wonder if I'll manage to find boat shoes after finals...

I finished this immensely entertaining book; Rock Star Superstar by Blake Nelson. It's about a guy, Pete, who plays bass and joins this band; Tiny Masters of Today, and they work hard at being famous. Other than just playing raw Rock N Roll, he goes through the normal problems of having a girlfriend and sex and stuff like that. It's not even a heavy read, it's only past 180 pages. But it got me hooked. Definitely one of the better books I've read this year.

I love mah girls.

2010-09-02T01:22:00.000-07:00

Acting like a diva. HAHAHAHA

I am not ignorant, This is anguish

2010-09-02T01:01:00.001-07:00

Thanks a lot, you made me realize that I was losing sight of what I really want. If anything, you got one thing right, you ARE a bitch. And not in a cool way either. I'm done with you, but thanks for entertaining me for quite some time. Now I'm ridding you out of my system. Have fun in finding someone who actually will wait for you. Cos I did for more than a year, and this is how you appreciate me. You know what you really are? Scared. Scared of commitment, and scared of saying how you actually feel. Still, this is no loss to me because I'm not missing out on you. You are on me.

I'm glad it's over now. I have no commitments whatsoever and can continue do proceed with my plans with no interruptions from anything or anyone. September is proving to be a month full of problems. I better not expect anything and be surprised least anything should happen.

Thanks Anis and Ellysha for letting me see light. What can I ever do without you two girls?

And I'm sorry for neglecting you A, you may seemed cast aside, but you never were. You were the one who said you couldn't study around me anyway. I still remember how you just moved because I was apparently too noisy. That's why I shifted next to Pheonne and remain there ever since. We both are in the wrong, but you're still my best friend. Don't get so paranoid of being replaced.

Itik Salai Masin?

2010-08-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

I woke up the sound of babies crying. I guess that's what you get from spending a weekend with baby cousins.

I went back to Ipoh during the weekend. Due to a simple reason; everyone's there. My grandfather expressed his surprise at us being there. Hurm, is it so odd for us to spend time as a family?

I miss Ipoh a lot. From the food, to travelling to Kuala Kangsar to eat Pau and Kuey Teow, to Astro and playing the Petrof. It feels rejuvenating to play the piano there. For some reason, it has the ability to have immediate effects on soothing my soul. I feel at rest now. Not dead, but at peace. All the anguish I have felt for days suddenly vanished. Music really is the best medium for releasing emotions.

It's a shame how it has stood there for the past decade with no one to play, save myself from an occasional one or two years once. At times, I wish I had the money to actually buy a piano like that Petrof. But the price of the object is frightening, a staggering 60k minimum! I've resolved to buy me a Petrof, before a Mercedes Benz.

But now I'm back, and full of Soya Bean and Tau Fu Fa from Funny Mountain. My only regret is not having any popiah from S.S Ali. The queue was just too much for me. It's back to being academical and doing my homework. Piles and piles of essays just waiting to be done. God, save me soul.

I'll start exercising again soon. I'm just waiting till Ramadhan is over. And then, it's 5 miles a day for me!

Ques Sera Sera

2010-08-27T06:03:00.001-07:00

I pretty much am bored. I guess that's one part of my life that hasn't changed.

I've been falling in and out of people. I find it amusing how it takes one person to change the whole crowds perception. Maybe people are easily influenced by desolate rumours. They're short lived and people probably have nothing better to do anyway.

I never thought I'd be here? Even in dreams that prove to be bizarre, I wouldn't have expected this of all things. With these people. Maybe I'm walking on a different path. One that I was meant for all along. Going around with different crowds taught me something, Manusia semua rambut hitam, tetapi hati berlainan. You don't even need a half-hearted try to cross someone, and you'll see that person has already crossed you. I wonder if this is what they mean by being immature and distrustful.

Is it so bad to be different? Or wanting to be? At times it feels that it's so much easier to be like everyone else. Play around. Forget about priorities. Matter of fact, remain oblivious and ignorant. Is it so wrong to remain serious?

And every once in a while, I'll have a dream. Only to wake up to a monotonous reality and the daily routines of an average Teenager, if what I do can be classified as average.

It's 2 more months to finals. I better buck up. I hold onto every word and sentence she has ever said. Maybe it's as if I adhere to them blindly. But so far, it has worked out for me, in every single case and scenario. Maybe I'm soon to be requited. Or Allahu A'lam, I'm set for bigger places and grander stages. Is this what they mean by growing up? To rid yourself of inner infidels and make peace with yourself to make better judgements?

I'm filled with query, but with no one to answer them. In the end, I just wonder how did I ever got this way. I'm glad I met you.

New Year's Resolution

2009-12-31T06:02:00.000-08:00

I'm probably gonna go against half of them anyway. Still no hurting putting them down. And I need to stop being pessimistic.

1st. No girls ! ( flirting around and having flings are allowed. Blame Mini, she said so )

2nd. I need to watch more television ! Not to the extent of being a couch potato but enough to actually watch gossip girl, prison break, glee and etc.

3rd. I need to exercise ! I have to get some chest muscles and regain my 6 packs. Plus increase my athleticism. I'm so bad I can't even jog nowadays

4th. Study ! I need to get excellent grades consistently. I really wanna be the first in my family to score an A1 in Add Maths and the rest of subjects.

5th. Hang out ! I need to finally get to know more people and see my friends. It's not fun being anti-social, I'll tell you that much.

6th. Play guitar. I already do a bit but I wanna improve a lot more so I can be 2nd guitar and perform for Star Search 2010.

7th. Save money ! I saved up to 1.5k but I wanna increase that by 20%. And finally be able to buy a lot more clothes. Forgive me for being materialistic.

8th. Love thyself. I will have utmost efforts to regain my clear skin.

9th. Drink warm water ONLY. I wanna do singing exercises too. I realize my voice isn't really heavenly so I have to do what it takes to improve what little I have.

10th. I will try to be nicer and stop being such a bitch. Okay I will probably break this one before anything happens, but I'm going to try ! Well sort of.

Happy New Year !
Farquar Fadhlullah Suhaimi

Toodles

Its coming, Its gone

2009-12-31T05:22:00.000-08:00

Wow. It's new year's eve already. Apart from hardly completing anything I wanted during 2009, it was a rather out of sorts kind of year. Happiness comes and goes. Fall in and fall out with people. Gaining and losing friends. A typical scenario of life? Haha, I should think so too.

So yeah I thought I had great fun when the year started. I had everything I ever yearned for. New school. New identity. New friends.

Funny thing about going into private that it totally changes everything you ever thought you knew. The so called stereotypes prove to be exactly different from how they are portrayed to be. I thought I had it good. 1st week of school was all I needed to blend in. Same amount of time to get me a girlfriend who seemed nice. What else could I ask for?

But all things fade and I soon started to fall out with a lot of people. I broke up with my girlfriend because I was not over a certain girl. That made a lot of people pissed off with me. I would hear of them sitting at the back of class saying shit about me. But I never really gave a damn. I was too full of myself. Days went by and I soon had no one to really stand up for me when everything went down.

I got into a fight with a really close friend. I guess you just can't keep what you do in your closet and expect it to stay there forever. People tend to dig because people want to gossip. So there it happened, the first moment where people had to choose sides.

It was not easy, nor was it hard. I merely shook it off as a test to see who were my real friends. But then, the results weren't really impressive. I started to like this girl who seemed to be religious and would stay away from nonsense and tried to be friends with her. I am proud to say that she is the coolest alim girl in the world. We then became best friends and I thought that having something with her would only take a turning for the worse later on so I didn't succumb to my feelings.

It was also here when I actually saw how much of a friend Megat and Amsyar were. He even uttered the words, "The person I trust the most in this school is Farquar" to Amsyar who he is with 24/7. We were friends and he told me about his family and stuff, but I never really thought of him that way. Soon later, we became closer and they were a major factor how I even got my 7 a's during PMR. We would study sejarah 4 hours a day and quiz one another. Megat also has one of the coolest personality unseen to the eyes of people because he prefers to remain discreet.

After all that happened, I never saw people as people anymore. I started to befriend one of the people I stayed away from since school started, Amirah Wani bte Dato' Azhar. She kept to herself and Amir and the only real conversation we've had was her screaming at me because Amir lied about having band practice and she blamed it on me. Okay freaky much woman, I was scared of you. But she turned out to be exactly like me. To the length where I would say a more immature female version of moiself.

While she was hard to be by since Amir was really protective of her, we talked daily through the internet, the only time where Amir couldn't reach me and make a fuss of me stealing his time with Amirah. She brought out a new personality I've never thought to become and steadily love my new self despite people hating me for changing. She also shows profound interest in my music and provides unparalleled support and advice. She isn't all flowery words either. She knows when something is just plain wrong, or when I've struck gold.

Towards the end I threw away my closure and started to talk back to people again. But this time with more caution. I know people more now and I don't plan on being hurt the same way I was when everyone was wrong. But the only friends I can think at the top of my head are probably only 7 people. I don't need anymore. In fact I don't think I'm able to live without a particular one of them. She's grown attached to me as I've grown attached to her. We share our deepest secrets and we plan on having a wonderful 2010.

2009 also taught me that its possible for us to have fights, even with our bestfriends. I had 2 significant fights with my 2 best friends from my old school. The 1st was really stupid and it involved some trust issues and wrong words to be spoken on the subject. The 2nd was over a girl. They didn't last but I always thought I would never have a fight with any of them. It shows how much I might have changed from my old days.

I don't plan on getting into a relationship with anyone. My early fling taught me that relationships will never last with me. Unless I'm with someone I have liked for years. But that has never happened, so I can never draw a conclusion. 2009 wasn't a year of moving on. It was merely a year of showing that you can't be replaced. And I can't move on. Call me pathetic but that's all I am. and I am and can be whatever you want me to be. I've gone past infatuation. I don't even know what this stage is even called. People change and we might be strangers to one another at times, but I'm still me.

What was my funniest moment in 2009 was when I got so depressed over a girl, I completely dismissed thoughts of girls. I actually turned gay for a month and had a crush on my friend. Later on, I realized it was because of my excess hormones. Still it was weird. Especially with my conscience saying NO JAJI NO. Laugh of my life, I swear. Thank god I'm normal again. If you can consider me normal.

Having a new year conclusion is somewhat cliche but after all that's said, I would say its nice to reminiscent about past events and mark your mile stones in life. I've lost myself only to find me in a new skin. I've grown to love things I never noticed and cared about things I considered insignificant. 2009 showed me who Farquar Hazazi is and I'm glad to finally be me. I am aware that I am hated. Maybe widely. But I'd rather to have earnest love of the few who actually do. People tend to misunderstand me and I have no interest in vindicating myself whatsoever. Life may suck, but I've got my favourite bitch to talk about it. So there goes my angst and my hatred of the world. Life is gonna suck anyway, so why give two shits about it?

2009 was not about winning. It was a year of losing and getting up every time you fall. Even when there's no one to pick you up except for yourself. It was a year of discovery and acceptance. Of redemption. I never really succeeded in anything this year. I tend to get 2nd place, at best. 2009 also taught me values. That I will treasure for life. May god bless all the hardships and recurring events that taught me what could not be taught in classroom and by people.

I guess its just this and I won't blog for the next few months. But I think its too early to stop. I'm only gonna stop blogging once I reach my 100th post. Which will take some effort to do. Till then

Toodles

Indecision

2009-10-27T01:13:00.000-07:00

Bit by bit I'm trying to forget about you. That maybe it was all wishful thinking. Maybe we are just better off as as how we are now. But why is it so hard to not even think of you? You are the person that I want to please the most. Its been long but I still like you. I need to get an answer; to clear things up with you. I hope what I'm doing is right

Toodles

Mercy

2009-10-24T11:06:00.001-07:00

Here We Go Again says:
best tak sabar aku
tak tak
eh mar nak tukar sekolah next year sebab kau doh
serious
ManWhore says:
tu tipu ah
dia nk tukar since awal tahun la
dia dh ckp aku dh
either msk government atau asrama
Here We Go Again says:
ye ah masa kau datang sekolah dia tiba tiba je nak tukar sekolah
ManWhore says:
BANGANG

My class won the inter-class football tournament ! Wooo. Go S-3-1. One of the winning factors was the absence of Emir Farid. Or else, we would've been shit.

School's boring now. Haven't been doing much. Water Polo for a week? Come on laa. You got to be better than that. There's nothing to do and the teachers never enter the class anyway. It feels so good to be anti-social at times like this. I do nothing other than playing Megat's PSP and going to ramp and playing guitar. I suck at it anyway. But hey, practice makes perfect aite?

Star Search is coming up. Wowww. Best part is...NOT DOING IT. I actually left the band but then I came back cos I wanted to do one final gig with them. Bfre we all leave Apiit. But you two just had to fuck things up. It wasnt much really, just listen to the bloody song and take 10 minutes to learn it. But nooo. Ah well, its all over and done with. Nothing is gonna change my mind. I'm still going recording and probably asking a few friends to help too. Could've been you guys but ah well, it's not yr fault. Its okay. NOT.

Okay I should chill. But this thing is really bugging me. I thought this was THE chance to make it all happen. Redeem ourselves from that crappy performance during May which tarnished the band's image. It was also because I really owe them for 2009. But I guess people will be people and be oblivious when they really can't see past what is in front of their eyes. I dont care. I'm still gonna be big. With or without them.

Jazli jom buat band? HAHA

I got to stop talking shit bout people. I got told that I'm acting like such a bitch nowadays. I can't help it though. Since the world does shit to me, I thought that it would be fair if I did the same. I thought you wanted me to act this say. But then you said, "That was when I was an immature form 3 ! Now I'm a mature form 4." LOL. I'm trying to be nicer and practice saying nice stuff now. But please know that it is bloody hard.

I think I like you. I really do. But I have no idea what to talk to you about. I may appear to be dull but please do not judge me. Its hard talking to you when I don't know anything about you. So please give me time, until I'm ready to talk and be talked to.

You are so far away,

Toodles

Coffees for Closers

2009-10-13T02:46:00.000-07:00

HELLO !!!

I'm finally done with PMR and hey, I can blog once more ! I was rather prepared for the worst when it happened, and insya'allah, all will go well.

So after KH paper, me and Megat played football with Arif, Justin, Meng Hong and Sa'aid. Then Arip and Fakhrul joined. 30 minutes proved to be too much for us. OUR STAMINA SUCKS NOW.

Went to Sunway around 11.30 to meet up with Nina, Diana, Syaz, Nadirah, Ariff, Shahmi and Adam. Naim and Zeyra turned up too. My timing was perfectly coordinated with Ariff's. But the rest didn't show up till about 1. So Ariff's kind mom paid for our dinner at TONY ROMAS. Nadirah came so the three of us had much fun.

Then we shopped and shopped and shopped. My legs are literally dead now. And me and Nad got lost how many god damn times. We would wander around aimlessly for 30 minutes while meeting various people and finally end up where we first started. Stupid as it was, it really was fun.

Adam soon gave up following me, Diana and Syaz shopping. I dont really blame him. We went to a hell lot of shops. Funnily enough, I even met Salman in the toilet. How random was that.

I felt really generous and bought Kakak something from Dorothy Perkins. And I bought myself something from Kitschen. Most of the stuff there were pretty weird but that one shirt had a really awesome purple.

It was a super awesome dayyy. And the best part is, its gonna happen a hell lot more times from today.
Hurray !

Toodles

Oh

2009-09-13T01:09:00.001-07:00

Why are you away so far?

Merdeka

2009-08-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

People keep cursing this country frm time and time again. But in the end, it is home and it will stay that way. Malaysia rocks. Happy Independence Day :)

Toodles

Bye

2009-08-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

I'm practically grounded now bcs of my trial results. I managed to get a pathetic 4 a's and 4 b's. I cnt go out, friends cnt come, my musical instruments taken away frm me, no money, no credit, no internet, no tv, no play station, no shopping fr my baju raya( mom's choosing my clothes and I feel like crying), no anything. Just 5 and a half hours to studying this hols and on average days 4 hours and a half. I already did 2 hours already. 3 and a half to go. Im gonna go rest fr a while.

Guess what I'm saying is that, Im gonna be a social retard, and not go online on my msn, facebook and mys often anymre. Which sucks. Screw the world.

Toodles

Tried to

2009-08-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

You seem far away. You are far away. Are we even right? I'm losing hope that you're even true. Maybe its too soon to tell. But I've got a hunch and my hunches are usually right.

Toodles

A major piece of shit

2009-08-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

God I'm having fever and we're suppose to take our class photo today ! This is really frustrating. When was the last time I actually took a class photo? Form 1? Thts freaking ages ago. God, and now I'll never be able to take one with my super wonderful Apiitians. Gah. And I'm having a tummy ache right now. And sore throat. I get butterflies whenever I see your smile.

Toodles

Thanks

2009-08-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

God. thank you Shahmi, Min, Mini and Alyssa for telling me its alright. Its rly odd to feel like this. I feel like a queer. I hope its just a phase and it'll pass

Toodles

oh and Fabian is a f**king genius. *winkwink*

I thought I was being smart

2009-08-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

I saw Ben online. So I thought I tried to do something which I thought was smart. His reply made me LOL.

Farquar

ben tdo laa esok ada exam :P

10:29pmBenjamin

saya buat maths la deyh!

10:29pmFarquar

ahahah !

semangat sial

A student woah cmni

10:30pmBenjamin

memang x mcm u ma hanya tau emo lyrics! LOLZ! ;)

Mean isnt he? HAHAHAHAHA NO LA BEN JOKING JE LA

Toodles

Robert Patti Reviews Breaking Dawn

2009-08-13T04:18:00.000-07:00

Edward Cullen helps me review Breaking Dawn

**This is all in good fun and for the lolz**

"So it doesn't start so bad. Bella is whiny like usual but I basically just drown that out now. Plus I got her a missile proof car. She thinks its to keep her safe..."

"...but it was really just a way to bring the lolz for Jasper, Emmett and I."

"The wedding goes well...even a bit boring...but it was nice not to have to fight some evil vampire for a few hours...so I try to be a good husband and invite Bella's smelly dog best friend to cheer her up..."

"...but of course Fido has to go cause a big scene when he finds out I'm gonna tap that while she is still human even though SHES BEEN BEGGING ME TO DO HER FOR MONTHS and I mean, How much restraint is man supposed to have? I swear if I don't get some soon I'll choke a bitch..."

"Anyways, so I take Bella away to Esme's Island which is in the middle of nowhere so I can get busy with my wife in private and she won't get all cold from me because it's hot as hell. I mean I've had 107 years to plan this so I better not mess up now..."

"So then I get all seductive and tell Bella to meet me in the ocean then I'm finally not a virgin anymore but now no one has any idea how fucking awesome I am in bed since the bitch author fades to black so I get all emo about and figure I shouldn't do it with Bella again until after she is changed which of course pisses Bella off..."

"Then she is all "Edward I need you" so I do her again then the bitch gets PREGNANT..."

"...so I totally freak out because there is no god damn way I'm spending eternity looking after a kid so I'm thinking it's time for a mutant baby smushsmortion but Bella is all attached and shit..."

"So we go back home to get help from Carlisle but apparently Bella and Rose are all BFF now so the house is all divided then to top it off things are now told from the mongrel's POV...

"I'M EDWARD FUCKING CULLEN...does no one care about my view?"

"Anyways, so I hear all the dog's thoughts and between Bella dying from the mutant baby and me not getting a chance to have my POV I get REALLY emo and desperate and ask Jacob to do Bella so she can have puppies or whatever werewolves have..."

"I know, I KNOW....WTF right? Lapse in judgement but I really didn't want Bella to die."

"So we're trying to be all nice to the dogs because the pack broke up and give them food and shelter and of course my bff Seth is awesome about it all but Jake and Leah have to be complete assholes about it all..."

"So this pregnancy shit goes on for way too long not mention a bunch of really pointless and boring stuff with the pack goes on..."

"Then of course as soon as Carlisle and the others leave Bella goes into Labor and then Rose decides she gets thirsty for Bella right when she is supposed to save the baby so I'm all "WTF MOVE BITCH" and get Jacob to keep Bella alive for the transformation..."

"So I inject her in the heart with my venom then bite her all over then 2 days go by while she has her transformation and she doesn't move at all so I'm kinda freaked but I mean 2 days! Quit bitching, mine was the full three and with way less help..."

"So when she wakes up she is super hot which is awesome and I take her hunting and it turns out she can handle the bloodlust business really well so thumbs up and I show her the baby and warn her about Jacob but kinda don't say everything..."

"...so Bella finds out Jacob imprinted on our kid and nicknamed her after the lock ness monster so she flips out on him which basically just amuses me..."

"...so to calm Bella down I take her to our little cabin the family gave us for some vampire sexin' and she felt way better if I do say so..."

"After we did it like all night (Yes ladies....ALL NIGHT) and even though it was only alluded too, we went back to see Nessie..."

"Okay, you have to admit the stuff with Nessie and me is pretty fucking cute..."

"SO Bella is all bonding with Nessie then that idiot Jacob comes back and tells Bella he fucking phased in front of Charlie and invited him over so we try to act all normal since hes been clueless all this time and its like "oh shit, what are we gonna do?"..."

"Then he comes and like basically doesn't care which is stupid but at least Bella didn't eat him which was helpful..."

"Time totally flies by and Nessie grows super fast and is all creepy too so Carlisle and I do research and plan to go back to South America to figure this baby shit out..."

"Bella goes hunting with Jacob and Nessie but that ho-bag Irina sees them on some fucking mountain and gets all miffed and walks away..."

"Alice has some epic vision of the Volturi killing us all just when things are going okay so we're basically all fucked then Alice and Jasper totally bail after we decide to round up more vamps to vouch for Nessie..."

"And its like "WTF Alice way to bail" but we formulate a plan anyways and everyone goes off to round up vampires to witness that Nessie grows since vamp babies and big N-O with the volturi since Irina told them she saw her that day in the mountains..."

"So all these vamps from all over show up and we find Bella is actually a shield but she kinda sucks at using it so we are all training her..."

"All this preparation stuff goes on for a long ass time, I mean even I'M GETTING BORED and I'm expecting to die soon..."

"So then the day finally comes for the battle to end all battles but it goes on so long and the volturi are all corrupt because we proved Nessie wasn't an immortal and Bella's shield keeps us all safe..."

"Then Alice comes back with another half immortal kid who is basically totally okay and stopped growing at like 17 so we know Nessie won't die and now we know that Alice didn't bail on us..."

"And like I totally knew she wouldn't bail because she is Alice and she is too Awesome for that..."

"So the voluturi back off because everyone kinda turned against them and all is good again and we have a bunch of random new friends and Charlie is totally doing Sue Clearwater now so Bella knows he is fed and shit..."

"So I thank Jacob and call him "Son" just to see the fucking look on his face which was priceless..."

"I mean if he is gonna end up my doing my daughter when she technically only like 7 but looks 17 and probably end up having some wolf-vampire baby I better get the jokes in now..."

"So everyone is all happy then Bella and I put Nessie to bed then I was gonna totally get some but Bella let me see in her mind finally which was nice after all this time..."

"So all in all it was pretty boring but I can't complain because I'm not a virgin anymore."

Time is running out

2009-08-13T01:22:00.000-07:00

ITS ALMOST OVER !!!!!!! But I've still got Maths and History. Im gonna practice maths during the weekend to secure my A and read my history notes and do some practice. So far I've got a good feeling on all the subjects, but good feelings don't really mean much. I'm just hoping for the fruits of my labour to pay off. It would feel so good to know that despite me missing form 2, I'm still able to do well in PMR. Shows you that anything's possible given the time and effort.

I hope my plans tomorrow will work out. And fuck la, Arif is not coming tomorrow. Its gonna be a really boring day. And I am now certain that I can study really well with Megat. And that I may be a lame ass, but I can make people laugh hard with my childish antics :)

Toodles

Hadhinah

2009-08-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the awesome night. You are probably the most annoying person ever with you saying "keep the faith" again and again. But I get your point. I shouldn't lost hope. If I love it then by all means I should go and pursue it. Its been ages since we last talked like tonight. And about our constant bitching, I missed it. I missed you, sista. You are like the persistent bugger I've always loved. Thanks a lot freakazoid.

Toodles

You Don't Know Me

2009-08-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

Fridays are super awesome. Especially when Shahmi's around and when we go Nina's to do stuff. Trials are going on next week. So I bloody hope I'm gonna do well. If not...well... I'm fcking screwed.

Toodles

Adam Ariff

2009-07-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

Welcome back handsome ;)
Sorry for not talking much during prayers. I'll try to come early and we can talk like hell. Cos I've got loads and loads of stories fr ya.

Toodles

Concoction of Doom

2009-07-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Shahmi came to my house and we did our normal routine of playing songs and stuff. Then we walked this super stupid walk to Mak Jah just to savor mee rebus. It took us 30 mins in the hot blinking sun. Nina also came later on. It somehow reminded me of Harold and Kumar. When I mentioned it to Nina she just made a face and pointed to both of us. And Shahmi does resemble Kumar. And I, Harold. Cina and India lol.

Especially when we made this shitty thing we called the 'concoction of doom'. Imagine left over kuah frm the mee rebus with green chili's, sisa nasi goreng cendawan, chili sauce, lime, ice, milo, apple juice, coke, pepper and soy sauce(a hell lot of it) and plain water. When we asked Shahmi how was it he said, "DO YOU KNOW SHIT? ITS 10000 TIMES WORSE !". I was laughing so hard I almost puked. And everyone was staring at us. And when I tasted it, it wasnt tht bad. Not until I suddenly puked though. Then we talked bout shit and everything. We should actually do this mre often. It was exhilarating.

And at tuition me and Shahmi played around with this guy's wig. Shahmi looked like a proper nigger and Mr Subramaniam said I looked English. LOL

Toodles

Agitated

2009-07-17T07:32:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Amsyar, Afif and Megat who accompanied me when I was needful of company. And for listening to my bitching. Thanks to Amirah too for caring
And Faidhi
Screw the rest. Well... almost

2009-07-07T07:48:00.001-07:00

Transformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers BestTransformers Best

Its been really boring these last few days. Got ideas for a new song but I just can't sit down and write them down. Also tons of band problems. Haih. And Min's coming back on thursday hopefully. That means that I have to shift up front. Sitting in front is no fun. I like being constantly bullied by Danny and William. Though it is a major bad influence but they're just fun. But they are sick. So fucking sick. Still good for Min tho, since it would mean that she's fully recovered. My tuition teacher said something funny today, " Girls with just pretty faces are worth nothing. They're only good for having sex with and nothing else!"
:O I wasnt the one who said tht.

Toodles

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

2009-07-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

Spoke to Khalfan today and talked about shit.
I miss Roman Riha and Leandro Silva. And while Im at it might as well say Arron Buckler, Kyle Weston and Shekinah Mcfarlane

Toodles

Hysteria

2009-07-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

You change like always
Just like a Solar Flare
Unphenomenal, Light up the skies
With your lies.

I cnt believe that Petronas were actually selling Transformers merchandises. And it sucks that I went to 3 stations just to get a t-shirt and they're all out. damn. Just when I wanted a transformers T-shirt. Shit happens. argh

I just bought new batteries for my big keyboard ! The sound still sucks though. I prefer my smaller keyboard when it comes to terms of sounds. But I need the bigger to learn new songs and such. What I really need it a piano indefinitely. That comes without thought. I cnt wait till PMR finishes. I've got 800 bucks and its still expanding to be used shopping then. I can finally buy more clothes ! :)

But I'm not gonna buy TopMan shit though. EEWWW. Sumpah fashion disaster when you go to a mall and see around 20 wearing the same shirt you're wearing. It sucks. Unless you wanna be those people who blindly follow trends. I'm not.

After PMR I'm going recording ! And Battle Of The Bands coming up in August. Disasters and Solar Flare is almost finished now. Its gonna be a blast.

Toodles.

Know Your Enemy

2009-07-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

I made a cameo appearance in Carey's movie ! I was a chicken and the assistant producer for 30 mins. I cnt wait to see how great I acted :)

Happy Birthday Amir Asyraf !
May your hair grow long and you live a beautiful life !

Toodles

Sweet Escape

2009-06-29T06:04:00.000-07:00

I just made a private blog. With Amirah Wani as my only reader LOL. I'm still keeping this blog though. Probably blogging about more serious and in depth issues going on with my life in the private one. I'll still update this blog though. But with monotonous posts. You can't get everything in life I guess

Toodles

High Fives All Around

2009-06-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

The agama thing was kinda fun. Thanks to Nafiz's lame jokes and me being really stupid. I swear I tarnished the school's name by wearing a necklace to it. It was really unnecessary. But I'm kecoh, so yeah. It was a fun day thanks to Nafiz, Alia, Min and even Ustaz Shakir :O

School's checking students' temperature everyday now. Everyone's getting so paranoid about H1N1. Funny thing is that not even 10% of inflicted patients die from it. Malaysia's got enough medication for 2 million people at least. True fact. My mom who is a doctor told me that.

Shahmi came by today, we had fun. I was busy showing Mini my recordings while he played guitar hero. I can't believe Mini actually said he sounded like a hot person. I am scarred for life. lol. Shahmi was feeling reallyy proud I tell ya. But he should anyway. It was a great song. And Shahmi tried to convince me that HIV virus actually originated from a guy who did it with a monkey. And I said "ask my mom and she'll tell ya its bcs of gays". And her friend was there with us. And she's a specialist in HIV/AIDS. So yeah the 1st case found was from a gay and the story goes on and on. But gays mostly. It was never a monkey. Amazing how the human's imagination can wonder up to that extent. It's unlogical. Simple as that.

So we had tea and I played football. Funny thing is that, I realized that I've been practicing a lot by myself and I never apply those things I practice in a real game. Which is obviously rather stupid but I dont know why I never did. And my right foot sucks for free kicks now. My left's much better. But that's not saying much either.

Micheal Jackson's dead ! Its a real shocker. He was really cool despite his messed up personal life. With the pedophile and shit. But well, as fcked up as he was, he's still the king of pop so tributes to him.

Open Day's tomorrow. Im screwed for shit. Oh and I might put Obama down as my inspiration to become a leader during my prefect ceremony. Just for a laugh. Its really random. But I might put my dad's name instead. He deserves it afterall he has done for me anyway.

And Im a social retard no more ! I started talking with my classmates at tuition. And some more. I know most of them from the holiday classes I attended last year. And from my old schl and myspace. Myspace connects. Its freaky

Nway its late and I need to drink Coke. I have abstained for so long that I'm gonna finish that whole bottle myself. I need to sober up :).
Moving on? Probably am. I dont know how much of you is still left but I'm certain that this might be the way things are meant to be. For now. Its much better this way. But I still care shit about you. You are number 1 afterall. Even if Im reduced to watching from the shadows.

Toodles !

Only One

2009-06-22T07:44:00.001-07:00

Nadirah ! Thank you oh so very much. You really are the best. No wonder you're my best friend aite? HAHA
I love you and I miss you too dear. I really want to see you again ! :D

Little House

2009-06-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

I lost my shoes at school. After CCA I accidentally left my shoes at the field while assuming I had them in my bag. I checked lost and found and the field and found nothing. Faidhi couldn't find his uniform too. Chances are the cleaners threw them away. Darn it.

Went with the form 3 kids to Bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad. We were really noisy in the LRT and I was kinda embarrased. Especially since we were in the public yet we behaved horribly. Ah well. KL was very hot and very wet. Puddles everywhere

I was scared shit when I was waiting fr the traffic light to turn green to cross the road when someone suddenly came behind me and held something against my back. And said in a very coarse and gruff voice "Bagi semua duit sekarang" and he had a cap on so i couldn't see the face. I was about to shout out and my heart stopped beating for a moment then. I suddenly had rly gory thoughts in my head. Im rly paranoid when it comes to moments like this. Bt then tht person drew back and it was FAKHRUL. Damnit. I looked like i was about to cry. Its rly pathetic. Bt then he did it to a lot of guys and their reaction were worse than me. So I dont feel bad

Carey, Becky and Daniella had to wear mine,Zafran's and Danny's trousers as to enter, you cant wear shorts. And they kept complaining that it was itchy. I pity Carey since it was very uncomfortable for her. And to make things worse my waist size is 26 so sumpah ketat.

Things got very easy after that and I took the stuff for William and Nafiz as well. Sent Danny, Hilmi, Faidhi and Sa'aid back to schl and got caught in a 3 hour traffic jam while sending kakak's friend home. Then had to rush to bath and go to tuition
so Im beat now

I had a happy day. Though very tiring. And I didn't regret eating at Sari Ratu. Nasi Padang Rockssss

Toodles

Warmness Of The Soul

2009-06-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

I was wandering around, looking for my light
You were crying, standing in the rain
It was co-incidental
But it was right

Picking up from where I last left off, I had Teacher's Day celebration on the 29th of May. It went horribly wrong when the sound system went cuckoo and the high hats and crash on the drum set were rosak. And not to mention when the piano died on me. Imagine having the whole crowd cheering and when the piano intro was to come in, *silence*. yeah sumpah gle babi.But bad times put aside, it was quite enjoyable at the end of the day.

Extra classes were really fun. Especially when you have a choice wether to come in or not. Where in this case, I did skip some classes. Geography, English and Maths in particular. I didnt really wanted to skip maths but I was having too much fun with Hilmi, Naqiu, Amirah and Min. And Hilmi showed me this really cool place to run away to when you want to be solitary.

Went to Cameron Highlands after class ended last Friday and despite Baba's claims that I would vomit on the way since I'm always carsick, I didnt ! So there haha. And I met Amirul Fikri on the way to having scones. Didnt do much though. But the Masala Tea was delicious. Bought tea to give some of my friends. Though most of them do not share my enthusiasm when it comes to drinking tea. Ah well. Pics will be up soon.

And today, I actually tried learning some covers of songs since its been a long while since I learnt anything new. I keep playing the same old stuff and it gets boring when I want new stuff. So I sat down with my keyboard for 5 hours and now I can play Poker Face by Lady Gaga, both versions of No Boundaries ( Kris's is in key Eb whereas Adam's is in key B) by Adam Lambert/Kris Allen and Decode by Paramore. Mind you, they were all by ear so 5 hours isn't really bad. And I was using a 32 key keyboard. You have no idea how frustrating it gets when you JUST DONT HAVE ENOUGH NOTES. Getting the right key was the hard part. Ergh. Probably learning Hundred by The Fray and Yellow or Life in Technicolour by Coldplay tomorrow. I am on a mad streak right now ! And damn I need to work on folios now. I hope I'll survive darn it.

Nina came by and we talked and talked and talked. It was fun, and well she did say some things that made sense. Probably I am pathetic and a loser the way I am right now, but then I can't really be blamed I guess. Anybody in my fcked up situation would be. But time will tell how things will be. I dare not say anything least I could be wrong. But yeah I really miss you.

Got to go, I need to type out Destination Nowhere for Amirah. I just gave her the 1st verse and now she wants more of the song. Hey, I've got a fan :D. HAHAHAHAHAHA

We searched for perfection
Search in vain, for our paradise
Dont tell me it's non-existent
Its not true

Toodles

Life Of An Actress

2009-05-22T03:42:00.000-07:00

Geography was kinda fun. With luck I might actually be able to maintain my 90% average. But insya'allah I'll get an A. Thanks to Amsyar and Megat. Who knew that Megat would make a good studying buddy? Aside from his bitching about "him". But he is getting a bit too much nowadays. That doesnt give me the right to pick him around though. Funny how you dont think of such matters on the spur of the moment. I could very well be a hypocrite. Pfft. Who isnt nowadays?

Toodles

All Angels No Wings

2009-05-21T06:40:00.000-07:00

Imagine trying to cramp a whole years worth of work into your brain in a time span of 2 hours. Literally impossible. Add another half year's worth. Its undeniable that this is what you get from studying other subjects more than some and being left out in certain areas. I regret it at this very moment. I regret it very much

I have been rly stressed since the last few days. I played rugby and brought Faidhi down ! Yay ! :)
But Amir was untouchable once he got the ball. By some bad luck he kept fumbling with it every time so it made blocking him possible.

We passed the auditions despite not hearing me at all ! Something's messed up. Its either the amp or the mike. Chances are that the amp's at fault since its of a shit brand. So says Khairul Aiman. What pisses me off is that a certain form 2 went and complained to the teachers' abt us HOGGING drum room all to ourselves. Im sure as hell I know who said that and she best watch out when she's with me now. For crying out loud, we have 2 songs to practice and they're only doing 1 song in which the 4 chords used keep repeating over and over again in no different arrangement. We gave them 1 hour to practice. If they didnt get their practice done during the time given then tough luck isnt it? You guys had adequate time.

We were being really nice when we decided that eventhough they messed up quite a bit, as long as they get through we would be willing to help them. If not, we would play the song that they meant to play xD
So while Amir, Arif and Harris went down for lunch, I stayed back with good intentions to help the band. It was working out pretty well honestly. I was actually having fun with Nabila and Elly. But then this happened. We're really pissed that we ignored the whole lot. I dont even think I wanna be nice nymre.

It's really hard trying to sing a song that you've only heard once. And its Muse. Which puts it on another stage altogether. We had to change the key to help me singing easier. Which i think is a whole lot of bollocks. Cos teacher changed it too low. At times I feel inferior the rest of them since I dont know a lot of the songs they play and I keep messing things up for them. Maybe I'm a liability. God, what happened to my super duper high self confidence which people would mistake for arrogance? I dont know what to think anymore.

And something really interesting happened today. I'm gonna blog about it tmrw. When I get the picture of my table.
Oh btw

AMIRAH YOU ARE FORGIVEN. SO PLEASE STOP WITH THE APOLOGIES. cos I feel guilty now... -.-
I never bore you any ill thoughts what so ever so do not worry yourself over it. And Im sure what you told me wasnt true. The statement was over rated. An exaggeration :)

And Mama finally bought me juice. I finished a whole carton in 2 mins. What can I do? I love juice as much as I love drinking tea

Toodles

England

2009-05-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Ronnie's great.

Kamran's just plain gay and cheeky. I wonder after wht he did to me tonight, will he get jumped at by Ronnie and Co.? Hope it happens. Teach him to get all cheeky to me. It does no good when it involves Arron Buckler. He's safe :)

The Truth Is Inhuman

2009-05-01T06:05:00.001-07:00

I can't go on like this
I know that you know.
I can see myself
breaking down into a million pieces.
Why does it hurt so much
To know, the truth

Realization

2009-04-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

Dalia suddenly gave me this short film saying "tgk tu, maybe you'll cry".
And I was like "pfft hell", but I still pressed the link and watched it.
What I then saw really opened up my eyes towards the matter of starvation poverty worldwide.

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

The video shows how much of ingrates we humans can be in life nowadays. While being caught in globalization, we fail to think about the difficulties that the needy society might encounter in their lives. We take things too much for granted. It really saddens me that the contents of the films is all true and actually occurs in real life situations. To think that I have been ignorant all this while is just pathetic

Its not as if I have not been exposed to such issues, but its merely that I lack focus and understanding of the matter. I mean my mom would say "think of the people in Palestine" and I would like go "yeah yeah yeah" but dont rly care much about it. But to actually see how desperate they are just to have life's simple necessities such as food till they would go and eat the leftovers of people is just plain downright unfair. To see such happy smiles on their faces when all they're eating are garbage...

Why are most of us blind? Its just so sad that some have to go through such difficulties in this modern world of ours.

It doesnt take much to appreciate the blessings that we have. Eat what you have and don't leave anything. Use what you have to the fullest and not change every time it is "outdated". While others keep complaining about the things that they lack, we should keep in mind that all this is given by God and by God's will, is able to take it all back and give us the life that we never would have thought we could be in.

I will now love all the things that I have, and avoid being a glutton anymore. Its never good to take more than what you need. Spread the word round. Show this video to others. People need a newsflash and know that such issues still exist in the modern world and that we should always be thankful of the life that we have

Toodles

Bless

2009-04-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

Thank god, I just finished the *cursed* BM Lisan today. Suprisingly it went fairly well, with me speaking in perfect malay until I suddenly went "Cam tu lah" without me realizing it. Pn Norma did tho, and there went my perfect A grade. But 3 out of 4 is still good enough. I can't keep on whining. I suck at BM :)

Despite my efforts to stay emo, I just couldn't do so. Ever since I moved schools, its been such a hard task turning my smile into a frown. You can't help but smile at the antics of my fellow classmates and how blissful the atmosphere can become. I actually felt pretty good about myself. Did my KH folio, been working on geography and history ones' lately, I actually study at school ( Thank you Zafran ) and stuff has been happening that makes one's life seem so at ease.

Daniella can be so ignorant. She has yet to understand the awesome-ness of Homesoy. lol

And talks been going around bout us performing in June. I've waited fr ages but gosh, I dont think I'm quite ready. Probably doing Coldplay and Muse. Trying to propose to the teachers to allow mre songs but most probably, the idea would be rejected. Thats what sucks about performing at a school event. You hardly ever get your your wishes fulfilled. But its lucky enough that Amir and Harris caved in. You just cant ignore the thrill from performing. I wonder whose playing bass tho. Haikal's not with us :S

Toodles

For her?

2009-04-18T03:06:00.000-07:00

*Warning, please do not read if you despise reading feeble attempts of love songs

All About You

The flustering of wings,
I'm on an open flight
Going back home

She occupies my mind,
The one that I have been
Yearning for

On the shorelines, I see your smile
Thinking back, I can hear you laughter
When did it started?
I miss you so

Tell me if I can be the one
It's all about you girl, It's all about you now.
Tell me if this is right
To fall for me now
Abandon all we had before.

Goodbye was always your favourite word
But I'm not letting go of you as yet
It has yet to be accomplished
My dreams

Oh, I see the tears and rain
And how it was those days
Believe me, Follow me now,
It'll change.

On the shorelines, I see your smile
Thinking back, I can hear you laughter
When did it started?
I miss you so

Tell me if I can be the one
It's all about you girl, It's all about you now.
Tell me if this is right
To fall for me now
Abandon all we had before
To leave it all behind
Abandon all we had before

Don't end it now
Stay and hear me out

On the shorelines, I see your smile
Thinking back, I can hear you laughter
When did it started?
I miss you so...

Tell me if I can be the one
It's all about you girl, It's all about you now
Tell me if this is right
To fall for me now
Abandon all we had before

Tell me if I can be the one
It's all about you girl, It's all about you now
Tell me if this is right
To fall for me now
Abandon all we had before
To leave it all behind
Abandon all we had before

The flustering of wings
I'm on an open flight,
Going back home

*A feeble attempt at trying my hand at love songs again. Lol.
Can't help writing one again when all I'm hearing are Owl City and To Be Juliet's Secret. Oh and not to mention Jeremy and Jason Reeves. About time I try something new and not get tied down to my emo songs only. Tho as I mentioned earlier, it is a feeble attempt :S.
Do tell me how well* or badly* I've done on my chatbox.

Yes I have a Cbox again after long last ! HAHA
WHOOOPEEEE :D

Toodles

Pissed much?

2009-04-17T03:12:00.000-07:00

I wish that I could actually update about the awesome weekend and Apiit Sports Day 09 but all the pics are in the desktop and Im using mama's laptop right here. Internet can only be accessed down stairs so cnt really put the pics and all.
I cnt be asked to put them into my usb and transfering them to the laptop cos Im just plain lazy :P haha. But well expect REALLY REALLY late updates about them. I very well might be the last person in Apiit to blog about sports day. haha

Should have wireless internet in days. Or perhaps weeks since Baba's busy these days. I've got to meet Diana soon. Talk to her bout some stuff :)

And it really shocked me when I opened up my documents and couldnt find my numerous saved conversations with her during the times I was in UK. Might not seem like a big deal but Im pretty muched bugged about it. I spent 2 hours literally looking fr files tht do not exist.

When Mama told us about some documents had dissapeared, it never occured to me that it might've been mine as well. Shit. Its probably the only last piece of hard evidence on how easy it was to talk to her and how our situation was kinda like. If one had to read all the saved convo's, one would see how much has changed since then. Despite this, she's still the one who I cherish the most and we still are close. But now all those written *or rather typed out* words remain only in my mind. Thank god that I have a good memory *only applies to certain stuff. haha*

And life's pretty messed up now. People who I trusted and told them stuff who they should've kept to themselves ended up telling others and turned people against me. It was pretty mean of them and I was kinda pissed about it but then thanks to Alia, Hilmi, Dalia and Fydy, I made it through. Thanks a lot weyy :)

But it has taught me that I shouldnt be this trustful towards people. Even if they might appear to be nice and all. Wish Nad was with me in Apiit. I would have a hell of a good time. But as long as I keep to myself and have regular conversations with them, Im pretty much fine.

Have I grown more mature compared to the days where, when I had whatever slight problem I would get all emo about it and call her? Somehow Im mre able to handle them now. Tho that's one excuse gone to call her. haha, got to think of mre stuff to talk to her fast as I keep getting tongue tied. really really really disturbing especially when its soo hard to meet her nowadays
shucks

Toodles

Sukan Tara

2009-04-02T03:43:00.000-07:00

Danny and Faidhi

Naturally since my foot is still injured, I couldn't participate in any of the events. But I should be okay by next week. In time for the sports day. Im gonna run my ass off ! haha

So I was just hanging around with Danny, Faidhi, Amsyar and Naqiu. We did lots of stupid stuff and all. And around 4 it suddenly rained so I guess its gonna be postponed. We went back in class and me and Arif started jamming our own songs.
Amir Asyraf

He just made a new song, and I just couldn't figure out any lyrics on the spot. So I saw a paper of announcement and started singing off the words of the paper as they go. It was really stupid but it sounded really good. Everyone thought I was singing a song and they never expected me to actually read the annoucement. LOL

And then Miss Suffiah was really supporting when she asked me to sing out our maths worksheet. That was really hilarious as well. Lol It was a fun day
Dalia, Emir

And April's fool was a laugh when I would go to girls saying that I was having a spike. And when they would go "eeee" I'd go "April fools !" haha. Sumpah it was a really disgusting joke but haha it was fun. And when I would go to Naqiu and say "Naqiu, Ko x f***k...APRIL FOOLS !" haha jht gle, But me and him swear to each other everyday so its alright. lol

Toodles

MSSD Football !

2009-04-02T02:47:00.000-07:00

Megat and Me !

So the day started off with me waking up at 5. I was like rly sleepy and was checking whether I had my kit all ready. Slept in the car, arrived at school at 6 plus..

AND HARDLY ANYONE WAS THERE

Despite the warning that the bus would leave by 7.15, there were only a few people. The form 2s' mostly. And then everyone was wearing Apiit's sports attire and slippers and I just refused to do the same. I was dressed in my track bottom and had a black tee on and wore my Converse shoes. So I was laughed at as being so...conspicuous. haha

The whole team was in a mess. Everyone had issues with their boots and all. Zafran passed his to Khalid and Khalid gave them to Aizat. And Aizat forgot to bring them with him. So Zafran was really emo, and Khalid hasn't got his boots as they were torn during our training session. And his mom just refused to buy him new ones.

So Zafran and Aizat were waiting at the back gate fr Hazirah to bring them Zafran's boots. They waited so long that the bus actually went without them. But it stopped halfway to wait fr them. Lucky fr them, Cikgu Nasrullah actually brought them to the designated location.
Arif and Sa'aid

On our 1st game, we were actually leading 2-0. Emir scored the 1st through a lovely free kick and I assisted the 2nd. We were actually winning in everything, the other team could hardly even pass. But god knows what happened in the last 5 mins where everything went wrong. The keeper just couldnt save anything and they scored 3 goals in 5 mins. I mean yeah, everyone was tired but at least he could've just tried to make a decent save. But he couldnt do anything. And the shots weren't all that great
haih

And to make things worse he was "injured". His finger was a bit swollen and he just said he couldn't play. Things were getting worse as he was one of the crucial players. We dont have a subsitute keeper. Thats what happens when you assemble a team 1 week away from the tournament. You just lack key players. So we had Sa'aid to play keeper.
Big piece of bull he was during tht match

It was so frustrating that I had to play center at 1st. I suppose the plan was to rest Farhan, Rizal and Emir fr the 2nd half and to play me back to my original position which is a striker later on. But it all went wrong when I went in for a challenge with this player, and he was juggling the ball in front of me. I just couldn't take that as he was obviously insulting me thinking that he could get pass me easily. So I went in fr the challenge and I won it. I dont know what went into him when I passed it and he just pulled my shirt and stamped on my left foot. I felt the pain immediately and I just couldn't go on. I asked to be subsituted and that was probably the biggest embarrassment I've had this year. I felt really pathetic but it just couldn't be helped. I opened my boot and my toe was black and was bleeding. Yaiks.

So we lost the game 6-0 and Sa'aid could hardly do a save. As a keeper he should fully utilize what he was in the game and that is his hands. But even when a slow ball came to him, he just refused to pick the ball up and take his time to kick it. At the sight of the ball, he would suddenly go rushing to the ball and kick it. If it was a pass and went on its intended course then I wouldn't have said much, but instead it just went out for a corner kick. God knows how many times it happened during those 40 mins. Everyone was pissed off as it is that the strikers were useless but you cnt rly blame them. Cos they're actually midfielders and haven't been taught how to look out for the offside line and how to space themselves and all. But we were just humilliated by Sa'aid's awful goalkeeping.

But the good part is, we had experience. We took pride in knowing that if we actually had our full team and a better keeper, we could've won our games. I mean after all, the under-15 team is only a week old. So yeah, we lacked training and such. So we weren't in the dumps for long, we decided what the heck, Lets just mess around and take pictures ! Oh and played around in the park. And since we brought money, everyone was eating ice creams as if there was no tomorrow. Jim especially haha
:D

Enjoying Ice Creams. From left- Jim, Aizat, Sadiq, SuryanOff to the playground !

Rizal and Aizat

Zikry
Ahmad Arif :D
Aizat showing off
Zafran Aqil !!

So that's about it
Hee

Toodles

Apiit's Under 15 Football Team

Yaiks

2009-03-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

I've already obtained my results. I wasn't very happy about it tho
My 6a's 2b's went down to 5a's and 3b's
God I need to buck up. Have to get my 8a's soon.

Friday was really fun especially cos Arif and Sa'aid stayed back bcs of football training. Arif had his 1st try of the famous mushroom goreng. Suprisingly they now have 4 flavours ! Original, Spicy, Curry and Blackpepper. I have yet to try the spicy and curried ones but the blackpepper rocked. We bought 3 ringgit worth and it finished in a span of less than 5 minutes ! Next week is my treat tho. I'm officially into the mushroom craze now. Though I can never understand how people used to buy the original flavour as if they were the last sold on earth. You get tired of the taste after sometime. You really need sauce for that. But since the flavoured ones already have flavours, then why take the crappy sauce? haha

Oh, Its really tiring nowadays. I have football till around 5 and usually i take 15 minutes to shower bfre i go back home. So we have been training fr a week now. Thank god I'm among the starting players. I mean there's hardly anyone else playing forward. But the thing is, Khalid who was supposed to be my strike partner has gone to play stopper cos we lack defense. Who else is gonna partner up with me now? Haha, I just hope they dont reply too much on me
Cos then I'll get pressured. But for some odd reason coach keeps playing me on right wing. Which I'm pretty much useless at. Farhan who was supposed to play there now plays center. I just dont know whats going on in that head of his. I just hope he comes to his senses and not play the 2nd team midfielders up front instead of me and the rest of the strikers.

And yeay ! Next week is USJ 13's sports day. It'd be nice to see my friends again. And I'm bringing Faidhi who really needs it after the Farhana incident. It was really really sad. haha
And yeah, I have a friendly next monday, and tournament starts on Wednesday. WISH ME LUCK ! lol. I just can't wait.

Sports day's coming soon and I'm suddenly being caught in this mess of sports houses. Apparently I'm in blue. But they told me I'm in green
I feel green already, how can they do this? haha. I just hope this gets settled quick cos I rly cant be bothered with everything that's happening right now
And the school wants the brass band to perform on sports day which is on the 11th. I dont know how I can cope especially with me missing practice because of other priorities. Amsyar says the song is relatively easy tho.
And haha, Alia has to break a plank in time fr sports day ! And she's only white belt in taekwando
The teacher must be mad.

And then the talks about people starting to hate me at school and all. I cnt be bothered cos at the end of the day, I know the names of who did so. And they're not really liked by everyone so they can't say much. I dont really care anyway. You just cant please everyone. But maybe I need to tone down a little cos I tend to be a bit noisy. And stop swearing excessively too. heee :D
"It'll turn up alright " or so says a good friend of mine

and yaiks, Im about to go round my aunt's house
cos my grandma just made mee kari and Im just plain hungry

And today is earth hour ! So you better turn off the lights. Its just fr an hour. And its not like you cnt turn on the air conditioner and stuff. Its just the light ! hahaha
Save earth !

Toodles

Hols !

2009-03-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

Fewh, Exams are finally over. Though I was stressed out about maths, Miss Suffiah said I got an A though I left out 3 questions on the subjective paper. I must've done the 1st paper rly well. Cnt think of any other way it would happen then. Relatively the exam was easy. Tho I doubt I'll be able to maintain my marks. All Im hoping now is that I'll at least get 6 a's like last time.
______________________________________________________________________

"Training paid off, I made the football team ! Yeah !!"
But in reality, the only reason how I got on the team was because of Arif recommended me to the coach. But then because I did actually play well during the selections, no one thought otherwise.
Except fr Afnan that is. But he can piss off. He actually had the guts to tell me that I was crap and he's much better than me.
Says him.
lol

Everyone's going somewhere this holidays. Zafran's gone to Phuket, Nina and Haris to Japan, and I heard from Diana that Syaz went to Mekah. I dont think I'm going anywhere. No difference there I guess.

Oh and I was chatting with Kyle Weston, who was one of my best mates when I was in Leicester. He said he's made 3 songs already with some of the kids at school. And he also said that Riverside's closing down. Like wtf man. Riverside rocks. Its the best school in the world. I love tht f**cking school !
lol

oh and he also said this
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
i have still got some of that spicy beff
i love it still
F. Hazazi| says:
HAHA
is it still good?
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
yh
F. Hazazi| says:
lol
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
it is
F. Hazazi| says:
good to hear
its called serunding here btw
weird name i know
lol
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
i have in a towsy with egg
F. Hazazi| says:
yeah
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
yh it is a wird name
F. Hazazi| says:
it nice tht way
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
i no man
F. Hazazi| says:
its good with rice too you know
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
i love it
no i will try it
like that
you r still now as a legend at school
ow yh
the school might be shuting dawn when we leve
F. Hazazi| says:
wtf
why man?
hahahahaa
im still a legend?
wow
what did i do?
lol
¬_¬ -_- ^_^ =) x_x XD =] "_" says:
just b u
F. Hazazi| says:
haha
thts nice to hear

thts a 1st lol.
Happy hols everyone !
Cheers

Err

2009-03-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

School's pretty average nowadays. Haven't been doing much. God exams are just tomorrow. Wonder if I'll be able to make it :S

I registered my name fr sports day to run the 100/200/400 meters and relay races. Cnt rly say I've been practicing tho. But I'm seriously slow now. Compared to my form 1 days tht is.

Gahh

2009-02-23T22:13:00.001-08:00

Where should I start?
Okay okay, I already finished my exams and I got 6 A's and 2 B's. There were many major improvements especially in my Maths, History and Geography. Its hard to believe that from 30 plus marks, I jumped to get 93 for maths and history and 88 fr geography. I hope to change my b's to A's tho.

And as you can see, I have changed almost everything in my blog. I changed my about me, I changed my blog template, I changed my blog heading. Yeah..
The sucky thing is that, while changing the html codes, they deleted almost all of the gadgets thingy?
So I dont have my chatbox and I dont have my links anymre. I tried my best to remember who I had in it to begin with so pls tell me if I dont have your name in it. Its a nuisiance really. I mean what the hell la? NO C-BOX? Dh ahh I remember the trouble it took to even get one. I gave up in the end to put one. Syanaz helped me. Or was it Iman? enth la. bt yeah, Im rly hopeless with these kinda stuff. Im not the only tho. I have this friend who until today has yet managed to put one in her blog. So yeah, I dont feel too bad about it.
Suck tho..

I just got discharged frm the hospital !
I had pneumonia and high fever. So I only told a few friends. It rly didnt help when she called and said " My mom says that you can die frm pneumonia " tp sumpah lwk after dh feeling better a bit. So Nadirah called the 1st day and talked to me till it was 12. Then Fatin called and kept me company the whole night. Well almost tho.

The hospital was fine really. I had ESPN and Disney. And the food was pretty nice. In case you didnt know, I dont have astro so when I do have pretty decent channels, I get pretty satisfied. Arif came the next day to my suprise. I wouldnt have thought that he would rly come. So Thanks weyhh. You rly made me happy doe. And thanks to Alyssa, Fatin, Shahmi, and Nadirah who called to ask how I was feeling. Shahmi dh ahh kt kampung doe lol.

So Im on MC till Wednesday so my friends at Apiit should see me on Thursday.
Im rly relieved that nothing rly bad was there. Well there was bt still. Bt Im a fast healer. So alhamdulillah, I'm better now.

Cnt wait to test out tht new song with Arif tho. We're really on this mad streak of writing and making new songs. The sad thing is that he refuses to make depressing ones. I write lyrics best when they're depressing. Bt ah well, he composes rly nice music so I cnt rly complain.

Sorry fr such a short post after such a long time of not updating, I cnt think of stuff to write about. So yeah.
ily, bye

Remembering Sunday

2009-02-08T19:10:00.000-08:00

I woke up around 9 plus and did nothing till I was to visit Amie at Melaka. Its not like I had a choice anyway so yeaa

Surprisingly, I had the best cendol I've tasted in my life ! And the best part was that, the place was on a chinese grave from the 1500's. Spooky huh? But probably that was why the cendol was so nice lol

So I got back around 6.30 and I rushed to get ready to go to Alyssa's party. By rushing I took 45 minutes. HAHA. I tend to lose track of time when I'm in the toilet. Especially when I'm using everything that I can lay my hands on*. :D

So the plan was that I was to go to the party around 7 plus since my parents had to attend a dinner. So I texted Alyssa la saying I might come early. And cm the whole thing x jadi so I came exactly at 8. The funny thing was that, Alyssa replied to say "its okay", when it was 7.55 HAHA. Mmg nampak sgt lah x jadi kn?

So I was early la I guess? Since hardly anyone was there. Alyssa was rly pretty by the way. So I talked a bit to Alyssa and met Scott. His name's Andrew tho. God knows why he's called Scott. I didnt rly ask.. So people started coming and I saw loads of familiar faces. Cam mostly I've like seen them on Alyssa's blog lah and Myspace. Some who were my seniors when I was in 13. I was never one to be nice with seniors tho. I dont really know why. But not anymore :D
HAHA

So I met lah Nadiah, Nadira ( Who actually read my blog HAHAHAHAHA. Sumpah embarrasing gle. ), Nadirah who was in berlian, Aina Suryani, Aina Afiqah, Sara and some more lah. Oh and Allia also came so I wasn't really the only form 3. There was Faiz jugak but I didn't notice till he went to Carlos with Zelda.

I felt really intimidated around the girls. Especially when they were playing the piano since like I've never really had a proper lesson and its all been taught by myself. So mcm when they told me to play, I was like "err, play? I dont know how to play. Im not rly good." HAHA
And to make it worse, Alyssa was saying " Oh Jaji hebat, he composes his own songs" and I dh ahh mcm x tau nk buat apa and she said it like that, I was thinking, omg Alyssa =.= lol
Luckily I learnt You Found Me by The Fray. But hardly anyone knew that song soo yeahh. I dont know how Nadiah knew that I was in a band tho.

Then Nadiah started playing Fall for You and everyone started singing. I think we sang that song a few times that night. And then I sang la whatever song they played. I couldn't actually believe that I was actually singing decently since I dont rly have a nice voice. But then..WOW. But it was nothing compared to Scott tho. Serious suara dia sedap gle.

And then there was the high-heeled-shoe-shaped-Pinata . Sumpah gle cool HAHA, bt it wouldnt tear open oh. So in the end me and Scott just punched it till there was a hole in it. And then we made it rain sweets :D

Sumpah lawak whenever Alyssa would sit next to me and like I can smell chocolate cake in her hair since her hair got splattered by it. So I would go " bau rambut you...chocolate doe" lol

I really couldnt understand how people said that I can play well. Its like compared the others Im so...
not talented

haha. Seriously I bet that all the people who played the piano yesterday can play soo much better than me. Thats the catch of learning by ear. You cnt rly compare to people who do go to classes and all.

I dont know what got to me tho. Usually I'm quiet tp yesterday cm biasa je. haha, bdo ah. Its a good thing not to be tht shy kan? :P

And I just realized. I am actually short.
Bt hey who cares, I like being me :)

And yg bdo gak is that my brother was to pick me up at 10. Bt then I told him 10.45. And in the end I went back at 11.15. Because my brother x balik lagi and my driver was driving my parents back frm the dinner. So amik me on the way lah.

So yea..I met a lot of new people, and made new friends. Its stupid to think that I use to despise seniors. Suma salah Ikhsan ah ! He gave me a false impression on seniors.

*kakak's stuff lol

On the 4th of February

2009-02-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

Today was awesomeeeee

First things, first lah. HAPPY SWEET 16 ALYSSA NURAINA !
:p

So cm it seemed like an average day lah en, today ada swimming, taekwando and music. So its easily one of the better days at school. So cm swimming today, I didnt wear any swimming shirts or whatsoever. Sbb cm William ngn Danny said my back wasnt as bad as I thought it was. Though Khairul thought differently. Before swimming people were like, "Farquar 6-pack doe. Ko buat apa sial jd cmtu? Asl tetek ko x smart?" HAHAHAHAHA. Its because I dont do as many push ups as I do my sit ups. So yeaaa

So cm I joined the group of 'budak x reti berenang' HAHA. Suprisingly Amir was in it. I thought Amir cm pandai oh swimming. So cm at first we had to do free style. Easy lahh
Then came the hard part..We had to do the breast stroke.
Sureee it's actually easy and all. But like imagine for someone who has learnt no other style other than freestyle trying to actually manage a breast stroke. Susahhhh

So at first I was laughing at Amir sbb when he tried doing it, he didnt move at all. And when it was my turn, I was no better :P Its really frustrating when you try to kick upwards but your body just goes downwards. But we had loads of laughs laa
Swimming is actually fun lah haha

Later at lunch, I joined the guys to play football. SUPRISINGLY Farhan chose me to be on his team. So like my team won 4-1? Arif scored cm sial that bastard :P
Org mintak pass bukan bagi pun HAHA. But I got a foot in every now and then and I liked it when Emir would try to get pass me. Funny oh whenever he fails. lol. And he kept going on " FARQUAR BAJET SIAL" hahahahaha bdo ah. But yeahh. Then Zafran felt like he wanted to pass out or something, so we brought him to the nurse and faked injuries and stayed there for half an hour. Luckily for us, Mr. Sah didnt come. Or else we would be in deep shit. Zafran dh cool with me and everything oh. He's nice laa lol

Then Tae Kwan Do. I was expecting some more stuff fr the advance class. But then today everyone had to do the basic exercises. And at the end we were split into groups according to out lines. We had to do 20 star jumps, 20 sit ups, 10 push ups and in between every exercise, we had to run 20 meters or so? I dont really know.. So I had fun especially since I was first when I had to run. And cm my group would usually get the first placing , so cm bangga ah "all stars" HAHA.

So I stopped by Alyssa's house on the way back. What was supposed to be 5 minutes turned out to be 30. I really didnt realize since I was talking to her and then I started playing the piano sume. So yeaa. ALYSSA DH LAGI TINGGI OH !
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh and Mr Ho went to me and asked me if I wanted to be a prefect. Since I was Shaherah's brother then cm he probably thinks that I can be pretty responsible. The funny thing is that, this isnt the first time ! I remember when I was standard 4 and I became a prefect because of my sister jugak..
APA LAH YOU KAKAK !LOL
So I might probably say yes la. And then jadi supporting mcm Nafiz.

So yeaa that was my day. It was really fun oh :D

And tomorrow Hilmi wants me to bring 2 jackets. He wants to borrow one of mine. So I might probably lend him my green one. Tengok lah which people would think is nicer :P

The Past

2009-02-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

The Past just cant be thrown away like garbage. Its just not how life works.

A hard earned 10 ringgit. not rly.

2009-01-28T05:06:00.000-08:00

Its Chinese new year and fr the 1st time ever, I'm actually bored of the holidays, tho its only started.*
Today Firman came round mine and we played guitar hero~
Seriously, its not a type of game you would get bored with. Nt fr me anyway lol. So I think I've become better at it? Suddenly I can play the songs which deemed to be rly hard.

And Firman was hooked on it until suddenly I read his msgs and saw tht he and Lenny actually coupled. The bastard didn't even tell me! So he told me that he wanted to meet Lenny ltr on to FK ( I thought it was fuck when it actually was French Kiss ). So we went lah to meet Lenny with hopes that she might be able to come out and go to Mamak Bistro since Firman was in a generous mood.

Bt Firman being the gay that he is had no balls even to call Lenny out. So as he was about to give up, I just lost patience and called her out. So we talked lah? 1st time I actually had a nice conversation with Lenny. She used to be so boring. Bt not anymore I guess ;)

And then Firman sumpah x tau how to act in front of girls. He would randomly see girls walking and comment on how hot she was, or how nice her ass is or wtv. He can be a bastard. seriously.

So cm Firman x habis2 asked Lenny to french him. Which in the end x boleh sbb her brother was watching. And x silap her dad was near by. So in a desperate attempt, I managed to tell her brother to scram and bwk Lenny and Firman far enough to kiss.
Bt then tu pun x nk French. So I was like " God apa susah sgt? You just grab Lenny's hand and pull yourself close to her and voila.
Bt tu pun x nk. So I just told her to kiss Firman on the cheek. Which she did after being pressured by me.

So Firman being as happy as happy can be, gave me 10 ringgit for me to top up and went on his way

So yay for me! :D

wasnt tht hard to earn yourself a tenner.
haha

*Masa kt Malaysia jer eh.

Ha He Hi Ho Hu

2009-01-18T02:33:00.000-08:00

These waves are crashing down on me,
I am not resurfacing
I'm not imagining
No, It is not a lie.
Dreaming, am I screaming
Underneath my skin it cries,
The dark corners of my heart just screams out.
"This act is inhuman
You're not even human".

It has been an incredible week .

There's no chance oh, for me to go back to S-3-2. So I better make the best out of it. Right now pun I sit beside to Yuha or as people call her An. And cm Harris if just beside her. So cm if I talk pun, usually its to both of them lah. Sumpah I'm not tht noise in class nymore.

So Friday night, suddenly Tasha sent me a text asking if we( us siblings ) were free? Because dia ajak lepak since Grandma Hillary made loads of burgers and cm it was Bashir's birthday. So I had a great time lah, despite being kicked in the balls by Zefrum. And cm I talked like a hell lot with Tasha. Since masuk skola tu, I can talk bout more stuff lah with her.

And god, suddenly I cant think of anything more to say. Since what happened was rather private. lol. But its time to move on, and I think I can.

Anyway, Shahmi and Alyssa have been really supportive bout it.
So thank you loads you two :)

Gile Ah Afnan !

2009-01-14T00:37:00.000-08:00

I could drop dead and just die
Just die.

Well maybe not literally. But seriously I've been so tired doe since moving to Apiit. Cm today baru I realized how UNFIT I was. I mean seriously, I've never felt so pathetic in my life. Pfft. I didnt thought it was that bad to be honest. Bt not I do and i feel sooooo

slow

But ah well what to do ah kan. PE was fun tho. Cm we played short games. Like really short ones. Ranging from 2-3 minutes? Yeah what can you do pun kan. But my team won, drawed and lost just once. Cm I was playing out of position. Bising ah Khalid. But you couldnt really blame me since there was no one forward. What do u expect? Watch the ball je is it? Mmg x ah kan. Bt tho Khalid won't admit it, I assisted his goal ;)

Cheh, cheh. Bangga jer. Its been ages since I last played footy pun. So I'm really out of practice for sports doe. To come to think of it just a few months ago I was fine. lol

And now kena change classes? I mean what the fuck lah. Just because I take Perdagangan dan Keusahawan for Kemahiran Hidup, I have to move classes permanently to S-3-1. I mean bagus lah 1st class and all but I really like S-3-2. Tapi if it were for a better reason say like, I get such good grades so I have to go to the other class since its not up to my level thingy then I understand ah..

BT ITS JUST BECAUSE I TAKE PK FOR KH! ALLAH

So cm probably Me, Khalid, Megat and Faidhi ah kena change classes. In return, An and Arif will go to S-3-2. Dh ahh Sa'aid was pretty pissed off because of the arrangements done. Dia kata since Im gonna be in S-3-1 then Im gonna ignore him sme lah. GET REAL AH BRO. KO KAWAN AKU PALING RAPAT KT APIIT KOT.

So yeah. I kept on swearing and swearing about things being fucked up and all. And then cuba jadi Emo, bt Fatin laughed at me. WHY LAH WEH !? Kacau je oh. Terus kacau mood x jadi emo. But kan, susah oh nk emo nowadays. Entah naper. I like being emo
:):):)

So yeah, thats it lah for now. Me and Khalid are gonna protest tomorrow ! We have our own reasons lah bt I dont wanna move. Tho thanks lah Haris for like saying I can sit beside him tomorrow. Bt if possible he and I, I'm sure dont want this transfer thing to happen pun. Why can't we just pindah class just for KH? I dont get these teachers lah. So yeah. If things dont work out the way I plan it to be then I'm gonna be in S-3-1 lah. But at least the guys there are friendly to me. Zaf, Haris sme. For all you know I could be concentrating more la kan? Or not since Hye Young is like the best person to sit next to me because she hardly talks so I can pay attention like shit. Babi ah.

I dnt wanna move !

btw dh sampai 50th post doe. woooo

Happy Birthday Me :)

2009-01-09T07:34:00.000-08:00

You know how people usually dont sleep considering it's their birthday the next day? I mean at the very least you'll stay awake till its 12. Bt heck sumpah penat gle, so I slept at 9.30. And then cm tetiba Alyssa called. wish happy birthday sme so yea bgn la. and then people started texting happy birthday jaji la. Sissy la. mcm2 doe.

So I thought I was gonna have the best birthday IF I stayed at 13. Bt things weren't bad ohh. Cm Megat knew my birthday was today and so he wished me lah. And after that lps balik skola, add Fatin, Sa'aid sme. So cm then la they got to know my birthday was today. I didnt la make such a big fuss about it since Im new and all. what for anyway? ;)

Tp yg x tahan tu Sa'aid ah. I told him mse habis break that my friend was coming because it was my birthday, and then he said I didn't tell him. apa lah. HAHA

So thank you all who made today great haha. And for remembering my birthday !

The ones who wished me ( x kisah ah early ke x. ) in their respective order,

Syahirah, Farah Edrina, Megat Hafizuddin, Alyssa, Melissa, Iman Nadirah, Farquar Hazmie, Nadirah, Hanina, Mama, Baba, Shadudu, Megat, Syanaz, Hadhinah, Shahmi, Ammar, Shaheera Diana, Afiqah, Syazwanie, Fatin Diana, Nur Ain, Hakim Zaliq, Haris, Nazrila Shaherah, Farquar Haqqani, Sa'aid Umar Aiman, Maryam Naqibah, Amalina Allia, Afif Ridhwan, Nurul Nadia and others who I cnt remember right now. Bt yea Thank You eh. :) You people rock HAHA ;)

pfft

2009-01-08T02:06:00.000-08:00

I complain like a hell lot when it comes to my face. Cm today I just uploaded the pics from Lumut and I realized how much of a change has happened. And I still complain a lot.
I still have an ugly face tho. I will only be happy once the scars are gone. HAHA

So cm im bored so tgk la how bad it was and how just being a few months in Malaysia terus okay. Man, I love Malaysia Baby !

May 08
This was kinda bad.
August 08
Ni plak sumpah if u look at the cheeks gle teruk the pimples sme cm jerawat batu. Besar gle
October 08
A few pimples, cm now tinggal scars
January 2009
No pimples and the scars aren't really noticeable. Bt if u see me face to face nnt nampak la bt the scars aren't tht deep anymore and is healing pretty fast.

You see the difference? Sumpah teruk gle kn dlu? haha. At this rate by the time habis PMR, im gonna have the clean face tht I've been longing to have since ever ! weeee xD haha

1st few days of school !

2009-01-06T01:26:00.000-08:00

I'm in apiit now ;) I hardly told anyone bout me going bt I think Ariff just couldnt keep his bloody mouth shut so yea.

Sumpah gelabah gler mse mula2 msk hall. Dh ahh when I had the courage to actually ask someone mana the line was utk form 3, he was hostile habis. " I'm new dont ask me ! ". Then cm they called us form 3's to assign us to our classes.
My name wasnt in any oh. So me and tht 'hostile' kid, nama Amsyar pwn started to talk la. Saying how much of a trouble it is to be the new kid and all. So cm then this guy who i cnt remember his name brought both of us to go into random classes which had empty spaces. So cm msk la S-3-2. Mula2 cm kata ah kt Amsyar, u 1st. bt he forced me into it. AND I SO THANK YOU NOW HAHA.

Break time was a bit awkward for me, since I was with my sister's friends. So cm Carey and her friends brought me with them during break and cm I didnt say much la. I think it was 'cause i was still 'gelabah'. And now Ammelia calls me Wawa which sounds so gay. bt ah well. So after break suddenly my sister just had to show up into my class and everyone started to say " Hi Shaherah ! " =.=

*She just had to do tht. So cm talked with her la, she wanted my booklist to buy some books and stuff. So I told her la " Kakak, nnt give me the chance 'cause its my pocket money" and suddenly Wan said " Oohh, kakak~". I was like ish bising ah Wan. Whats the big deal of calling my sister Kakak?

So that broke the ice for me. Then I overheard Sa'aid ( or however u spell his name.grr ) talking bout how he saw porn channels kt Switzerland. So cm what the heck la, tetiba je nyampuk ckp bout how ada channels like that kt UK jugak. So cm we suddenl;y had this conversation bout wether you've done this and that. and someone suddenly mentioned BLOWJOB. I think it was Haziq

So suddenly Fatin went " Whats a blowjob?" and asked Wan. Wan pwn x tau la. We started laughing like shit. hahaha

So after that cm I was more comfortable la with them. And then cm I was around Sa'aid and Khairul a lot. Then start knl people like Ariff, Zafran and others who cm I cant remember right now haha. Oh yea and Khalid. Khalid nyer 2nd name best doe, Takahiro. Sbb his father is japanese ke apa. So yea, my new friends :) tho Wan x kira because we knew each other mse primary. haha

And its bad enuf tht they cant call me farquar. Now from Jaji, they sometimes call me J? HAHA
-Tuesday-

I had swimming. Pergh. Everyone pakai baju swimming and the ones who didnt sumpah x de any hair on their bodies. I was the only one doe. Sumpah malu gle. So now mmg nk beli ah baju swimming =.=

Then today pwn I made friends with 2 more kids. new students like me. Amsyar pwn dh settle in nicely dh in his class. So cm made friends with this Megat and Faidhi? god knows how to spell his name tp he was a friend of Syanaz. So cam yea

Pastu sumpah ble mula2 msk class I saw this girl yg rambut cm Wan tp x knl. Tgk2 it was Fatin yg x pakai tudung. haha bdo ah. Oh and Im sitting beside this Korean kid ni. Girl la. Haha.

Oh and at break, I was in 3-2, and was with Ariff and Haris. Best oh heard them play Muse. They're good ;)

Oh and apparently, Amsyar has played drums since 2003. Lol, cnt wait to jam around with him xD

Hello New Year :)

2008-12-31T09:42:00.001-08:00

gahhh
New year already. God, I'm suddenly remembering the best parts of the year.
Mostly in UK.

haha, I remember playing apologize for the 1st time on piano, it was the 1st song I taught myself how to play.

Remember how, after finishing my second GCSE Performing Arts exam piece, playing fr others and well rather made myself known.

Remembering how I played my 1st football match representing the school, I didnt score bt I had great tries, and I assisted my team.

Remembering how I left football fr music. I would at lunch time, go to the music room and just play wtv tht came to mind. It was reallyyyyyy relaxing.

Remembering my 1st gig to my last, which was Glastonbudget 2008. Lol, the drummer didnt came so we had to make do with just keys and bass.

Remembering washing the car and doing odd chores to save some money before I got back, in the end I saved 50 pounds in 1 month.

Remembering how there's always someone there to make your day right eventhough everythings going wrong. It could be one who you least expect, it could be the one who became somewhat a bestfriend when you were away.

Remembering leaving UK, and coming back to find familiar faces back in USJ 13

Remembering leaving school, twice in a year.

And more and more and more. 2008 was the best year, enuf said. Met great people, left great people, and gained a hell lot of frens ranging from every single type of person you would find in a typical school. Emos, Musicians, Jocks, Nerds, Delinquents, Playboys ( JACK HAHA ). Some turned out to be great mates and most of all, the odd gang which were off immigrants including myself.

It was funny how I actually met people like Syanaz and Iman who arent like the people I usually talk to. Its even funnier how I got to know that they were great people who I now cherish greatly in my life.

I became much much closer to Adam Ariff ever since I went to UK. Partly cause I was able to understand how he felt. Before this I could only imagine bt I had the real feeling when I was away.

I also changed my whole view of seniors when I got closer to Alyssa. I used to have this unpleasant sensation when being around seniors. I would try my best to avoid them if possible. Not anymore tho :)

Music was a great gift given and well, bless my soul tht I cant live without it. Nothings sweeter to me now than the sound of a piano being played beautifully.

So as I said 2008, was a great year. Tho had some grim memories at the end, I woke up with a resolution, to show people what Im really worth.
So watch out ! Im gonna change to what I can be in 2009, watch my words !

GOODBYE 2008 and HELLO 2009 !

;)
-Farquar Fadhlullah Suhaimi-

Bella's Lullaby

2008-12-21T22:15:00.000-08:00

I just realized how horrible Bella's Lullaby was in in the movie.

Nazneen was saying something at Adam's cbox bout I should play Bella's Lullaby on the piano. So out of curiosity, I youtube'd it, trying to hear how it would sound. So I saw 2 versions. One was the one tht was in the movie and one tht wasnt the official.

I cnt rly say tht i like the official one. clearly it sucks. well compared to River flows in you anyway.

So..

here's the official

and here's the one which to me would sound like Bella's Lullaby

which would you prefer?

;D

2008-12-19T08:45:00.000-08:00

My holidays have been boring to say the least, bt something happened today tht was actually worth mentioning. This morning, I got a text from Haris, saying "call me when ur awake, i got sum stuff fr ya". So cm saw tht msg around 12, so called him la then. And he said he'll come round after friday prayers.
So he came right after I was done with chores sme. And cm I asked what stuff?

...

TGK2 HE WAS JUST A MESSENGER FR ALYSSA HAHA.

Alyssa went to Bali last week, so she actually bought me stuff ! I know its hard to believe bt its true HAHA

I meant to post a picture showing the stuff she bought bt i cnt seem to find the usb to my camera. grr

So yeah, when I told her to suprise me she really did :D
i seriously wasnt expecting a REALLY BIG PENCILBOX THINGY-MA-JIG

Bt hey i love it :D
(Even tho I havent found the use fr it yet)

And then there was tht bead bracelet which i have been wanting fr ages now since I last snapped mine( the string thingy went snap) when I was throwing a tantrum in London last year.

And not to mention the keychain ;)

So what I'm trying to say is tht

THANK YOU ALYSSA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
:p

M u s i c

2008-12-12T05:54:00.000-08:00

Random Song Survey of Musicalness
Name 15 random songs.

1st song: Jack's Mannequin- The Resolution
2nd song: Air Traffic- Shooting Star

3rd song: The Offspring- You're gonna go far, Kid
4th song:The Fray- You Found Me
5th song: Teddy Geiger- For You I Will
6th song: Jimmy Eat World- Let It Happen
7th song: The Fray- Vienna
8th song: The Starting Line- Birds
9th song: Secondhand Serenade - Maybe
10th song: Jesse McCartney- Its Over
11th song: Enrique Iglesias- Hero
12th song: The Killers - Tranquilize
13th song: Athlete- Hurricane
14th song: Switchfoot- On Fire
15th song: Plain White T's- Cinderella Story

Why do you like the 1st song?:
Somehow I cnt stop singing the 1st verse

Who does the 2nd song remind you of?:
Amy Boc

Name your favorite lyric from the 3rd song.:
Now dance, fucker, dance
Man, he never had a chance
And no one even knew
It was really only you

Do you have any special memories attached to the 4th song?:
Guess not

Do you relate personally to the 5th song?:
Its like how I felt when liking a person and how you would do anything just for her. Anything seemed possible haha

Does/would your grandmother like the 6th song?:
NOOOO. She would go "What Songs Are You Listening to huh, Jaji?"

What did you think when you first heard the 7th song?:
The piano opening? Bliss

What color does the 8th song remind you of?:
Yellow

What is the 9th song about?:
I guess thats its about feeling bout stuff and its just you whose thinking like tht?

Does the 10th song get stuck in your head easily?:
I would randomly sing the part
"Cause Im not coming back,
I'm closing the door
I used to be tripping over missing you
But Im not anymore"
everyday

Could you play the 11th song for a toddler and not feel guilty?:
I could be your hero baby? why ever would I feel guilty?

Is the singer of the 12th song hot?:
Looks a bit rugged so yea.

What part of your life does the 13th song describe best?:
When you cant get used to something

Does the 14th song have a cool video?:
I dnt think On Fire was a single.

How old is the 15th song?:
I dont know

Which of these is your favorite?:
You Found Me by The Fray

Your least favorite?:
Let It Happen by Jimmy Eat World

Have any of these made you cry?
Which ones? (Be honest. It's ok, trust me.):
Im not telling. Not to say I did anyway. Bt even IF I DID hell I wouldnt tell you.

Which is the most personal for you?:
Cinderella Story by Plain White T's

Did you like this survey?:
....

If you didn't, oh well. If ya did, thanks and bye!:
Yeah..Bye..

With this; I now tag:

Melissa
Afif
Alyssa

and heaven knows who

Probably the best week of the holidays

2008-12-04T00:31:00.000-08:00

It started out last friday when my grandparents came and invited me to follow them back to Ipoh. We were having a dinner and I asked my mom tho not expecting a yes. Rather like a tgk luck ah. Bt then my mom said yes, and I was all smiles :D. bt then she said, but no movie lah. and then I remembered she said something about watching james bond on saturday and probably watch TWILIGHT on sunday. So I went online and told numerous people of my delimma. HAHA.

So in the end I gave up thinking too much and decided to go back to Ipoh seeing that I can practice football, play the piano ( Shahmi broke my keyboard so I cant play no music. ) and if I get bored, theres always Astro. and no I dont have astro so yea..

I slept at 2 and woke up at 5 which gave me a headache and I was sick to begin with bt when we reached ipoh, I was suddenly rejuvenated. I guess it was because of the sight of the piano which I had never bothered to play up to now. So it was a short stay of a day only cause my grandad had to go to the police station and then we're back in subang. So I spent almost all the time on the piano. Bt seriously it was nice.

I also had a nasty cough which didnt help with singing loads of songs and for some reason everything that happened on friends was so damn funny that I couldnt stop laughing. So it actually made the cough much much worse. So when it was night time, I texted my brother asking if they were watching Quantum of Solace. I was sincerely hoping that they wouldnt actually watch twilight without me bt hell, who knows? Bt thank god they didnt. I was gonna watch it with my brother's friends and the rest of my siblings.

and damn TWILIGHT WAS SOO GOOD. hahaha
I havent read the novel at all seeing that I havent had the time to buy it, bt I will now. I can understand why everyone is in love with Edward Cullen now. BT NOT WHY EVERYBODY IS IN LOVE WITH ROBERT PATTINSON. =.=

when I 1st saw Edward all I could think was, a deathly sick person. I mean come on wey, he was soooo pale and the way he acted was so...genuine haha. Bt then the character progresses sme jd the person tht everyone loves soo much. And the jokes were rather funny how Bella's dad was so concern about the pepper spray and loading the shot gun when Edward wanted to meet him formally. lol, a typical father figure. And Bella was very real tbh. How she 1st came to the school and her blurry reaction, and getting some extra helpful people, not being good at stuff sme, how there was tht guy who kissed her as a joke, it was real oh. It was just like when I was at uk, it was how a typical white mans school would react to someone new. You cnt help admiring bella's character I say. Bt still Edward nyer character hot doe ! I think I should stop in case I get branded a twilight freak bt the movie was soo great. Screw people who said it wasnt :)

I'm Here

2008-12-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

They told me be careful
They said be weary of you
They warn persistence is the fatal flaw

I find myself waiting
Find myself hoping that you'll
One day fall into my open arms

But it's ok, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind I'll just take the backseat again
In the end I'm here
In the end just sit and stare
The season change not making way
As I'm just waiting waiting waiting for you

But I've been here a time or two
Like trying to fight the dying breath
Why is every step I take so damn hard

I've got some battle wounds from this
I've got the sinking feeling in my skin
I'm getting tired of the night
Just waiting for the light

But it's ok, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind I'll just take the backseat again
In the end I'm here
In the end just sit and stare
The season change not making way
As I'm just waiting waiting waiting for you

But it's ok, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind I'll just take the backseat again
In the end I'm here
In the end just sit and stare
The season change not making way
As I'm just waiting waiting waiting for you

They said be weary of you
They warn persistence is the fatal flaw

GUITAR HERO

2008-11-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

so this week hasn't been tht great. bt hey i found something tht brought joy into my life

GUITAR HERO

The only reason why I bought the game was for the sake of "When You Were Young" by The Killers. The Killers are one of the best bands no matter what you say, THE KILLERS ROCK. Bt then heard loads of other great songs which were classic.

So i started off with easy mode, which turned out to be too easy. So I played medium with my brother and unlocked most of the songs to play fr.

So here comes the best part

I BOUGHT THE GUITAR FOR GUITAR HERO!

So here comes the big WTH?! Ppl have been telling me, oh its hard to look fr the guitar because Im playing on PS2. most of the guitars are fr Xbox360 and PS3. i mean even SOMEONE said that the additional guitar cnt be found in Malaysia( ALYSSA ).
Funnily enough, I found it at Summit USJ. SUMMIT. wasnt tht hard to look fr LOL.

bt playing on the guitar is well hard. not as easy as it looks like. Bt practice makes perfect so I'm playing on medium now. Dont dare to play on Hard mode YET.

bt seriously guitar hero is a great game. Got to listen to Helicopter by Bloc Party and F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X by The Fall of Troy. Played them on guitar hero and the song rocks. haha

btw, dont be mad, I had nothing else to blog about. Okay? You know who you are :)

I Hate You, Alyssa Nuraina :)

2008-11-26T08:20:00.000-08:00

1. Is there any fictional character you're in love with?

guess not. wait..ah, no.

2. Who is more important to you?friends/boyfriends/girlfriends

Friends

3. Have you ever thought of getting married?

at times i guess?

4. Does your crush like you back?

haha HELL NO

5. How many babies do you want?

6. What is your goal for this year?

I want to play the freaking piano kt IPOH

7. Do you believe in eternal love?

yea

8. In your opinion, what are the characteristics of the perfect boy/girlfriend?(10 characteristics)

She must

1) look simple yet pretty. no need fr lots of jewelry and make up and all.
2) be a smartass so i dnt hv to explain BIG words
3) SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH
4) not be immature
5) write songs
6) not be shallow.
7) short hair?
8) not try too hard to be cute.
9) not swear excessively.
10) good sense of humor.

9. What feeling do you love most?

the feeling after creating something great.

10. What is your bad habit ?

i sometimes bite my nails when im anxious. haha

11. Is there anything you want to tell people who hate you?

F Off Twat( bet you dont know what twat means now do you? )

12. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

guess so.

13. What does flying mean to you?

traveling !

14. Who do you love?

EMMA ROBERTS

15. Who do you think is hotter? edward cullen or jacob black?

the hell? im not gonna risk sounding like a gay, bt edward since almost everyone is gaga over him haha

16. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words

Alyssa: funny, crazy, annoying, non understandable, short, nonsense

17. What would you really like to do right now?

I want to sleep god damn it.

18.What is one of your embarrassing moments?

I cried over a girl because I couldn't get her. Sounds normal? It was in a bus and everyone started laughing at me. -_-

19. How to find the right partner?

no need to find her. she'll find me

20. What are you wishing for right NOW?

I wish I could go out these holidays bt I'm shitting myself right here.

I tag ;

Syanaz
Iman
Melissa?

and you whose reading.

Oh and pink is a great colour aye?

Instructions:Remove one question from above and add in your personal question. Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people. List them out at the end of the post. Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Who ever does the tag will have blessings from all.

-

2008-11-17T18:36:00.001-08:00

I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A WHINY WHINY BITCH

Interview with Mada Hosuy !

2008-11-08T18:36:00.001-08:00

So on friday, me and shahmi decided to be mtv news fr the day. So ergh, we tried to interview Afif aka Mexico, Raja Gebang. Bt damn it didnt work out 'cause he wasnt funny. not at all. it was rly boring to be honest. So suddenly Adam's alter ego Mada Hosuy gave us a few mins of his time to interview him. P.S. Afif, this is what i meant by being random
enjoy an Austrian with a Chinese accent

Open House and Sleepover

2008-10-28T03:09:00.000-07:00

so yesterday I had an open house. Funnily enough loads of ppl were having their open houses on that day too. So I guess almost everyone I know went to Myra's Open House seeing that she stays in USJ and well, its Myra.
So mine started out at 12. I got a text in the morning from Melissa saying that Hadhinah and her wanted to come a bit early cause her dad had a meeting at 11.30. I got ready early but well, she didnt come at 11.30 -__-'. So the 1st guests to arrive was Shafiq's family. Shafiq is this guy who plays futsal sometimes at Mahkota. So my dad and his dad are friends. Bt I didnt really talk to him much. I talked a bit to his sister who turns out to be Fara Edrina's cousin as Syanaz says. She said she's gonna move to 13 next year? cool.

Then round 1 or so, MELISSA AND HADHINAH ARRIVED. I was like, Eh korang dtg? -_-' Not to say I didnt want them to come, but I thought they couldnt make it. Still they were great fun. Then at 4 Ikhsan and Luqs came. I talked to them for a bit and then hey ! Megat came too XD. So I was busy trying to talk to each guest personally. Bt it was kinda hard. I think I know how Hadhinah feels now when she had her open house last time lol.

Syanaz came at 5 and right after she came, Amir and Aiman came ! Haha, they're really funny the way they are sarcastic and everything. And later on Salman and Nuraini came. So we played football and lost like shit against the ones playing at the field. You cant really blame us. We were wearing tight jeans and Converse and the kind of clothes you dont really want to get muddy in. And they were wearing shorts and well football clothing. So as you could see we werent really in a good form to play properly. Tho Megat was such a great keeper he scored an owngoal and couldnt save any goals that were shot. He was such a legend :)

Oh and Jazli came too. Jazli is Jarir's brother. As some might know, Jarir happens to play bass for Khairul's band, Forgive The Sinners. So he talked to me bout Jarir and Johan and all. It was kinda fun. I havent seen Jazli ever since I moved from USJ. He has gotten taller :D

So after playing footie, we were really smelly bastards being covered in mud and sweat. So we all stayed in my room and I had a shower. After that from wearing a shirt, I wore this t-shirt I bought at UK. Apparently Amir says its nice. haha thx. Nurtasha Jayos and Farah Imani came too. Tasha is erm, my cousin and Farah is my aunt. Tho she's only form 4 haha. So its been ages since I met Tasha and we didnt really talk much. Not at the open house tho.

I showed Syanaz some songs I made. The ones I did at UK was Crossing Rivers and Saviour. And my latest, Wishing to be What is not to be. Ignore the long title lol. So Syanaz said it was really good and Amir rated my lyrics 11/10? cool. Bt Amir is a good song writer so I heard and he's not like the other ppl i know of who are in bands. They usually do Screamos and all. I mean its alright but I was really looking for someone who wrote alternative. So his band does alternative and he gave my music the genre, Piano, Alternative and Pop Rock. And no matter what ppl say, Pop Rock is cool cause its very versatile really. Oh and Tasha and Farah decided to sleepover

Later on that night after everyone left, I talked to Farah bout my rejection cause she wanted to hear bout it. I was actually pretty alright with it but Farah told me a great many stuff which made me feel well, depressed. haha but it was only natural I guess. So I forgot what happened but suddenly I was showing them the lyrics for Wishing to be What is not to be. I closed my ears thinking they would laugh cause usually when I show them to my friends like Farah Nur for instance, She laughed at my lyrics, especially Saviour. She was saying " Ko fikir ko ni perempuan ke laki? Oh someone please come and rescue me. She was referring to that line. But Farah and Tasha liked it. I think I get it by what Amir means by the lyrics have meaning.

So seeing that there was positive reaction I had the heart to show them other lyrics that I made tho I failed to show them my 2 best ones which were Saviour and Crossing Rivers that night. Tasha actually cried while reading Everythings Burning. She said it reminded her of some stuff. Still I was touched that it happened. I told them I already wrote the music for some of my songs and they wanted for me to play it. But it was 3 in the morning so I told them to remind me when I woke up.

So when I did, no one was talking bout the lyrics. I was err, rather crushed. hahaha. But I didnt want to seem really eager and go to them and make them beg me to play. But then when I was playing around with my keyboard they suddenly went to me and said, Mainlah Jaji. And I was kinda shy but when I played Wishing to be( Im gonna cut the name short for now -__-' ), Tasha really liked it with the music and all.

Skip the boring parts, I played Crossing Rivers and Saviour. When I first played Crossing Rivers. everyone was so quiet that I was afraid it sucked tho its arguably my most sincere song. But I was afraid they might say the lyrics sucked. But wow, they were like, AWW THAT WAS SO SWEET. I WISH I HAD HEARD OF THIS EARLIER and others. So I spent the day teaching them how to sing the song the way Shekinah and Me did during GlastonBudget08 during May. It was kinda hard seeing that they lacked professionalism and experience in singing. Bt you cant really blame them seeing that they only sang along to songs on the radio. But I have to say, Tasha was really talented. Tho it was much easier with Shekinah who had won lots of competitions in singing and one who had vocal lessons since forever. So its only natural for her to be able to hear the song once and perfected it XD

Still I havent given up hope for Tasha to sing this song perfectly. Who knows, she might be able to do it better than Shekinah. She might be able to do my perfect version of the song. Tho the song brings back memories because Crossing Rivers was actually written for a certain naive girl who well rejected me haha. But well most of my songs are inspired by her so I really have to thank her. For now Im gonna wait till SPM finishes. Cause then I'll be able to go to Tasha's house and play the piano there and practice. Then probably Im gonna see if I can sleepover at her house. Ive never really had a sleepover with her tho. lol. But I can sleep with Bashir so its alright.

Carnival~

2008-10-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

Jaji, Julia, Rhyz

Today was wow, great. hahaha. I went to Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan USJ 20's Carnival. It was well fun lol. When I 1st came I was well, practically lost. I couldnt find any familiar faces, so I called Ariff. He didnt pick up. Big help he was...

So I saw Afif, and I went to say hi, so we had a chat for a bit and when he went to buy some coupons, I saw Rhyz and Aidil. So we hang around for a bit so Im gonna skip for a bit.

I MET TASHA! LIKE OHH I MET TASHA ! I think the last time I saw her was at Ayin's house and back then we hardly talked. It was an accident tho lol. But I was with her and Allia when she said " Lets look for Julia !! "

I wasnt too keen to be honest, as Julia and we dont talk much to each other at school but ah well, had to give in to my bestfriend sorang ni. So we met Julia and then we started spraying each other and well after tht we went to the Hanted House !!!
I was a bit late cos I went to greet Shahmi and them lot and by the time I came, Attierah and all were shouting " Youre Late !! "
So I was supposed to be with Afif and the gang cos I was late, but i got to know after it happened that it was cause girls and guys weren't meant to go in together. But I sneaked in lol. Sorry Afif, but it was really tempting to go in with them.
So when I came in at first, someone called me and I picked up. Then this ghost on my left suddenly went " Woii tutup phone la.." I was like, Okayyy. What else could I say to a GHOST ? haha
Then it was really dark and I thought Tasha was holding my hand. Then suddenly Julia said " Whose hand am I holding? " and Tasha went " ohh, Jaji's". But then both of them were holding my hands back then and were too scared to let go hahaha.
There was this mask which looked really freaky and when I said yo, it said yo back. like WTF? Then Tasha just had to say " Eh ada hantu kt blakang laa ". So I looked back and I started screaming " ADA HANTU KT BLAKANG !!!" and everyone got terrified and screamed like shit. Urghh Teruk ah u tasha.
Towards the end, suddenly some ghosts were grabbing for our feet and when i got my foot grabbed, I started crying out " ADA ORG PGG KAKI I! KAKI I! " and Tasha and Julia started running for the exit and I bumped my head oww. But it was great.

But the highlight of the day was when Julia went and told me to go to those castle floats thingy. I call them Jumpy Jumpy. It started out with just me, Firman and Julia to well literally everyone. Nadzhiff, Firman, Tasha, Julia, Rhyz

It was a mad house I tell you, a mad house. But the floats really unleashes your inner childishness thingy. but serious it was fun. Everyone had fun, being gays and all. haha Rhyz and Firman being gays

Firman and Nadzhiff

We were too crazy that the guy forced us to leave the place. Because there were too many ppl in there. Ah well. Oh there was also this kid who was a real pervert. He touched Julia's ass and boobs. AND HE'S ONLY STANDARD 2. WTF. Seriously kids nowadays. Dnt feel too bad laa Julia, it was cause you were too attractive for him HAHA
The Kid Who Was Horny
Guess whose the odd one out? -__-'

Super Rhyz !

Agak Obscene haha

Sweaty Us after Jumpy Jumpy :D

Did you know I sucked at Archery? ah well..
Let Loose Baby !
Passionate Lovers =.=
Nadzhiff, Tasha, Jaji, Megat
Rhyz Caught Red Handed !
Adam And Me
Julia, Tasha, Nadzhiff, Firman

Oh and Zikry got a really makeover by Julia. hahaha how lucky I was to be there. But then his mom had to go and pick him up and he panicked, cause he looked like tranny !
Finished Product !haha, Ive never seen Icky like tht. Lol. Great job Julia :P

So that was my great day, didnt think going to these kind of things would be fun. But I was really wrong.

Wishing to be what is not to be

2008-10-23T06:39:00.002-07:00

okayy hello :D

so err exams all week, just thought it would be nice to update due to some recent well, happenings.
and it was also because some people just had to say UPDATE!
so yeah :D

Yesterday, was a bitter day. A really2 bitter one mind you. I had a chat with her and for some reason she wasnt really into the conversation and somewhat ignored me. So well i couldnt take it any longer and I said that it wasnt really happening now was it? And well, she just confirmed what I already knew.
I blurted out suddenly that I like her, and i had to recall pleasant yet unpleasant because of the situation in where I had to recall them in. And when i told her to reject me, she didnt. not that night.

So I couldnt sleep till it was 6 and I had an exam later on that evening. So when i eventually did sleep, i woke up at 12. Yes it was really2 damn late but you couldnt really blame me. And i woke up to a rejection note. Yes i can get rejected to those who might not know lol. So well, I tried crying cause i thought that would be the most reasonable action to do but nah, i couldnt cry. My tears were all dried up from the past arguement. She explained why she did what she did to me and all and hoped I understood.

I did

So i was emo+gay+shit when i went to school. I was pissed off with the world ! But Adam listened to my story while adding weird comments which actually made me laugh. He really made me see that it wasnt the end of the world. When it was done, I could see the brightside of stuff.

Brightside? Of rejection? No seriously there is a brightside. I mean she was my bestfriend the whole time i was in uk. By rejecting me she threw away the possibilities of us having a break up later on and knowing the person she is, she would be too crushed to talk to me anymore. And then now, she isnt ignoring me and all and shes the person who i actually fell for. Eventho now its impossible, but its great that shes who she is now. And hey who knows? I might have a shot at the later future? Nah no way. But still its great things are the way they are now.

Im really happy while im feeling sad. Its a bittersweet feeling. Still, Im living a great life, :D
who cares whether u get rejected or not. I mean come on man, Its not the end of the world !

A certain naive girl.

2008-10-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

May 23, 2008 2:51 PM

BISING AH
ok ah season ni man u nyer season. tgk ah next season. ARSENAL NYER
eh esok nnt i perform dpn ribu2 org ouh at europes biggest tribute music festival. bapak byk press ada dow! ada the press from canada and us nyer national paper, uk nyer national, and local paper. and then ada tv ah, radio and online media. i mesti msk at least 1! woo
nnt kte perform lagu yg i bwat. i tulis the lyrics and music suma. best gak ouh. nnt budak2 nk i dedicate tht song to someone.
i've got a feeling u taw sper i nk dedicate it to ;)

May 23, 2008 8:16 PM

arsenal ?ARSENAL ?hahahaha suke hati la.
oh wow aren't you nervous ?
wooo gdluck key !GDLUCK !
oh who ?lauren ?oh ya rita kn.

May 24, 2008 1:37 AM

bodo
bodo
bodo
ish u ni jht taw x
urgh sengaja jer!
URGH

May 24, 2008 10:18 AM

bdo ?what did i do ?
oh haha yr still mad about manu winning eh ?
fine i tukar my about me :D

We Are Scientists

2008-10-14T04:39:00.000-07:00

So today the Science convention was redone for some Thailand Officials or sumthing. Or as I call them Thainese for no apparent reason. So this time I was in charge of the smoke thingy. Remember the smoke thingy?
So because of reasons of which i do not understand, only 4 students out of the volunteered 12 were told to come. So there were..

Ariff

Ariff..

Ariff...

Me!

And well..Ariff....

there were also Haziqah and Arina but we didnt talk to them much.

The day involved constant walking from one place to another. We started out from 13 to 16 to 13 back again to 9 to 11 and back to 16 and finally went home.

We had breakie 1st of all. we went to 7 eleven to buy some snacks and all and went back to school after being told to have breakfast 1st. Then we caught random pics which i really think shows that Ariff is actually a cam whore. hahaha
We also did some candid pics which came out quite well lol

We went to usj 9 because Ariff has this thing for buying gifts for ppl whenever he goes to ppls' houses. So we bought some chocs and well it was hot. like really2 hot. did i tell you it was at 1 and i was wearing 2 layers? yeah.

So i decided to call Hadhinah seeing that she lives a few metres away. thank the lord she picked up and was at home. So apa lg? Pergi ah rumah dia.
She was home alone today because her mom went out and stuff. So we talked a bit bout prank calls and bout things we did in primary. Then ariff had this sudden desire to pray, so hadhinah told us to go upstairs to pray.

But oh temptation really makes you forget ur purposes. Hadhinah had an Xbox 360. wait she had TWO. So i got excited. like really2 excited. Hey i do act like a kid sometimes :P So we were very Jakun as hadhinah calls it and saw that she had Halo 3. So we started playing it till it was too late to be praying anymore. haha

I have never played Halo 3 mind you. Ariff has played Halo 1 so he has an idea on how to play and all. So it was me against him. I started out with just this normal gun and I picked up some crystal shit gun which made me die really easily. It was really fun. I kept singing random lyrics and saying random quotes from movies throughout the whole game . it was really retarded. The key to win was to kill me 25 times. But as i played, i got better and better at it. So one of the random lyrics was whenever i managed a kill, I'd sing Hold on theres a hole in my heart~ (which was the lyrics to Dead End by The Format I think?)to ariff and he'll get all pissed off. hahahaha
And i quoted Zohan when ariff killed me for the 20umpth time, I will destroy you and I kept saying that nonstop for the rest of the day
hahha. it was really2 retarded as I said but weyhh, funnnn. weyh Hadhinah, Id really like to come to ur house again. :DDDD

So from the pit stop at Hadhinah's house, we went to Syifa's open house where i met loads of the girls at our school. They included Fatin, Lenny's bestfriend who just had to go to me and say, Lenny kirim salam. So cm just replied her Salam laa. what else to do? So there werent many guys present. Only Firdaus me and Ariff. But met loads of the kids from cfill 3 who i havent met in years. They say I have changed. I have no choice but to agree. I look uglier now -__-'

So as I was about to leave, Lenny wanted to talk to me so I just chatted with her for a bit. She was saying that I was arrogant and secluded and all. But hey, to me, the one who is all that is Lenny -__-'. and she said I ignore her at school. How can I ignore her when I dont even see her around anymore? haihh
Lenny2.

So that was my fun day. Thank You Ariff Balloons for making my day Great. :DDDDDDDDDD
I know that we fight a lot but haha, ur a good friend :DD

RONNIE MATEEEEE

2008-10-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

wow. i miss ronnie. or as his real name is Arron Buckler. Kyle calls him Butt-Licker but hey, that's Kyle. So, around 9.11 I had a chat with him. So I thought I might as well post the convo here.

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
wubu2
Farquar says:
nothing much
Farquar says:
i think im coming down with a fever
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lol
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
feel grime
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
kyles bumming linkin park
Farquar says:
hahaha
Farquar says:
which song?
Farquar says:
what ive done?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
tryin to take bass off me
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
numb faint
Farquar says:
owhh
Farquar says:
haha i cnt imagine
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lol
Farquar says:
apparently i just killed apologize here
Farquar says:
i think its because i havent played for some time
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lol
Farquar says:
so it doesnt sound as ncie
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
o well
Farquar says:
*nice
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lols
Farquar says:
so still a band?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
more the best ready for wen u come back
Farquar says:
great2
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
will be wen ur bck
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
im gttin bass lessons off john
Farquar says:
john gives bass lessons?(john is my band and guitar teacher)
Farquar says:
didnt he just give guitar ones?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
me nd jonnys the funniest people in our maths
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
gives both
Farquar says:
wow
Farquar says:
if i was there
Farquar says:
i'd learn the bass too
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lol
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
kyle thinks hes bad cuz he can play artic monkey on bass
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
when the timings all rong
Farquar says:
gahh
Farquar says:
kyle's like tht
Farquar says:
i suprised everyone by playing smoke on water lol
Farquar says:
noone knew i could play the bass here
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
me nd jonny gonna beat him up soon
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
we did it to brandon and sum polish lad
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lol
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
thts gd
Farquar says:
polish?
Farquar says:
which?
Farquar says:
tomac?
Farquar says:
or however u spell his name
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
nah
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN sent 10/5/2008 9:12 PM:
yr younger than us( year younger than us he says)
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN sent 10/5/2008 9:12 PM:
lol
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
kyles next
Farquar says:
internet a bit faulty
Farquar says:
a year younger?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
yeah
Farquar says:
damn i hate them polish kids
Farquar says:
they think they're hard
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
yeah
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
lol
Farquar says:
outside of school
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
thts why we did it
Farquar says:
oh yeah
Farquar says:
have i told you
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
wat
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
?
Farquar says:
that i have almost or rather lost my spots now?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
ive only got just a few occasional ones
Farquar says:
need to clear scars up tho
Farquar says:
should take 2 months i guess
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
wnt u bck
Farquar says:
haha
Farquar says:
i want you here!
Farquar says:
some of my friends
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
nah trekage
Farquar says:
want to start a band with me
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
but we dnt have a bassist
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
i will
Farquar says:
you would do fine!
Farquar says:
lol
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
u pay the expenses
Farquar says:
gahh
Farquar says:
u can afford it urself
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
i no
Farquar says:
ill just pay for the lodging and all
Farquar says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
ill stay at ur house and bring bacon and a dog
Farquar says:
hahahahaha
Farquar says:
oh yeah
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
there's a dog
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
living at the back of my house
Farquar says:
in the alley
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
shoot it
Farquar says:
chases after cars all the time
Farquar says:
HAHAHAHAHA
Farquar says:
some ppl shot the female
Farquar says:
but the male? nahh
Farquar says:
doesnt bite ppl
Farquar says:
its still gay tho
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
cum back
Farquar says:
yeahh
Farquar says:
ill try ill try
Farquar says:
probably my brother's going to cambridge or wtv
Farquar says:
birmingham wants him tho
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
he can cum lester
Farquar says:
if he chooses b'ham itll be easy to come to leicester
Farquar says:
yeah
Farquar says:
thts what i said
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
or dmu
Farquar says:
dmu?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
demonfort
Farquar says:
oh
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
its in lester
Farquar says:
yeah2 i know
Farquar says:
btw
Farquar says:
still loving leicester city?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
2nd league tho. hahaha
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
league 1
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
when are you lot coming back to the epl?
Farquar says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
?
Farquar says:
when is leicester city gonna come back to epl
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
epl
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
?
Farquar says:
yeah
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
english premier league
Farquar says:
-__-'
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
championship
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
oooooo
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
soon
Farquar says:
lol
Farquar says:
haha
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
on the way up top of league 1
Farquar says:
when youre done with the relegation battles yeah?
Farquar says:
haha
Farquar says:
oh damn
Farquar says:
i gtg
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
y
Farquar says:
exams are just round the corner
Farquar says:
ive got to study
Farquar says:
tho im feeling sick
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
studying
Farquar says:
ahh
Farquar says:
yeah
Farquar says:
sucks i know
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
both
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
nerd
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
geek
Farquar says:
shut up
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
30 mins
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
more
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
cum on
Farquar says:
you'd be the same tho if you were here
Farquar says:
yeah i want to
Farquar says:
but my dad would..
Farquar says:
kill me
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
hey
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
i gt gcse p.e
Farquar says:
gcse pe?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
media studies
Farquar says:
yeah?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
nd music
Farquar says:
and?
Farquar says:
ohh
Farquar says:
gcse pe sucks tho
Farquar says:
id rather do geography
Farquar says:
you get to do
Farquar says:
field experiments in barcelona
Farquar says:
well year 10's got tht last year
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
in a bit
Farquar says:
aye?
Farquar says:
in abit
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
ur makin me jealous
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
bye
Farquar says:
hahahahaha
Farquar says:
oi
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
im talking bout you guys there
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
i no
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
i never went
Farquar says:
the only field experiments i get to do here
Farquar says:
are in my neighbourhood
Farquar says:
it sucks
Farquar says:
really2 damn sucks
Farquar says:
btw
Farquar says:
the textbooks are all comparing the geography and all tht shit
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
?
Farquar says:
with canada
Farquar says:
and not with england
Farquar says:
how sad
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
errmmmm
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
cum back
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
ill teach ubass
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
init
Farquar says:
hahahahah
Farquar says:
i could teach myself you know
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
i did
Farquar says:
you taught me how to read bass notes already
Farquar says:
yeah
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
most of it
Farquar says:
kinda
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
its piss
Farquar says:
what is?
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
all of it
Farquar says:
hahahaha
Farquar says:
i hate reading notes too really
Farquar says:
tho i can now
Farquar says:
but reading notes sucks
Farquar says:
i wanna have lessons
Farquar says:
how to play with hearing
Farquar says:
like how one republic does
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

Farquar says:
oi i gtg right now serious
Farquar says:
ill talk to you ltr next time
Farquar says:
as long as u want
Farquar says:
but today i just cant
RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN says:
in abit
Farquar says:
in a bit

but i didnt actually go offline. i merely appeared offline. But Ronnie just had to say at the end

RONNIE ERE CHILLIN sent 10/5/2008 9:35 PM:
if i come im probaly die cuz im 1 of the only white no offence

ahh. he wont be the only one really. heck my cousin is quarter australian.

Ahh. Got TAGGED

2008-10-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

Ahh. I got tagged by both Syanaz and Iman. It's been a while since i did surveys so what the heck?

Tagged by Syanaz Bazil and Iman Nadhirah

Instructions:
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.

At what age do you wish to marry?
I was thinking of 5th or 6th year of medical school insya'allah. So tht would be...25 26?
What is your most favorite thing to do?
I love chatting. Seriously I do.

If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like,
including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
Bitch. Or Bastard. Depends on the gender. So yeah, No

What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat ?
To be honest, I eat a lot and I am still too skinny :D

If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Being in a band which became a really2 well known one?

Do you believe you can survive without money?
I do not believe so I do not think so I can not.

What are you afraid to lose the most?
Family, Friends and err my Lonsdale shoes.

What do you feel like doing, right now?
I really want to talk with people.

If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Been there, Done that.

Do you believe in fate?
Fate, Destiny, Same shit.

Who Is The One You Love ??
Ahh now that would be telling ;)

Why do people judge according to appearances?
I do not and I hate to associate with people who do.

What is your ambition?
Doctor turned Musician. Haha I wish. Surgeon. Preferably Cardiac

Is anyone really perfect?
nahh, as much as I like to think that I am. No one is. Heck impossible is more like it.

If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
You see, I love money. Really2 much. But I'd rather be happy. If you're happy, then you would be rich i guess? I'm not being materialistic here for once. But yeah no point being rich and bitter.

If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My laziness. It tends to change into procrastinating and leaving flaws in my work.

What do you do when someone hurt you so much?
I take it all inside of me and I write something. probably a blog post or a song? Who knows? It depends on the mood.

If someone threw a brick at you, and an innocent kid is standing right beside you, what would be your covered-up swear? :)
Fukimak!

If the Earth were to end one day, what would you do for the last 24 hours?
I would..confess all the shit that I did and I would tell people all of embarrassing moments and tell the ones who i love "I love you". Heck there's nothing to lose I guess.

What would life be without friends?
I cannot imagine.

The unlucky people I tag are...
Aliya Natasha
Alyssa
Melissa
Nanin
Afif
heck im running out of people so if you're reading this and you feel inclined to do it, please do? :D
cheerio matee
Oh I just have to say that its interesting to see what your answers may turn out to be ;)

The Farquar Brothers' Burning Up Challenge!

2008-10-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

No maid + dirty dishes + lazy boys + cili api = The Farquar Brothers' Burning UP Challenge!

The super spicy Cili Api

RULES

Everybody has to eat a minimum of one cili api.
First person to drink loses.
If after eating one cili api nobody has given up,then a second cili api will be eaten.
The loser has to wash all the dishes/glasses/etc used during buka.

Bloody hell pedas!

RESULT
Farquar Hazmie is the LOSER!

POST-MATCH DRINK

Super nice ice-cream soda imported from Muar.

It was a really nice challenge lol.
I won :D

Kampungg

2008-10-03T22:46:00.000-07:00

Bonjour
haha. maybe i shouldnt be speaking french as its raya. sooo

]SELAMAT HARI RAYA AND MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

this raya was, well... bittersweet. When I was asking forgiveness to my parents, instead of saying my usual "Selamat Hari Raya Mama, maafkan jaji kalau jaji ada buat salah", I said, "Selamat Hari Raya Mama, sorry if i've done anything wrong to you that you keep in heart". and my dad just had to say, woii ckp melayu ahh
lol

So for the 1st time in my life, i actually did my raya prayers here in subang. Usually I'd be doing them in Muar which is my kampung but hey, i went to the nearby surau and met almost everyone i know who lives near me. most of them had their grandparents stayign nearby, so they didnt have the need to go to kampung to see them and all. Man their lucky in a way, they're saving lots of money and time man! gahh

I also found out that my dream wadrobe of clothing wasnt what I had in mind. My dad actually left most of my new clothes in the boxes which would arrive later this month. so right now i only have a pink t-shirt, some lee cooper t-shirts. 2 gap shirts and yeah thts about it. also some jeans. and i was supposed to have like 20 or more t-shirts. err

And ahh some fond memories in kampung include my meeting with my 3rd cousin. She is really pretty to be honest. Her name? ahh, I dnt have a clue. Apparently once every year, i'll get to know something about her. Last year it was that she was a year younger than me. This year, it was that she stayed in Bandar Kinrara which isnt that far really. Wonder when i'll ever get to talk to her hurmm. Afraid i dnt have the guts tho. haha

I went to friday prayers only to have a Stag Beetle which was really big to bit me at my butt. Yes laugh all you want but it did want to try to get into my butt and it did. I swear I had the shock of my life when I saw it. The kampung people were laughing their asses off but ahh wth man. It was only because i wasnt a kampung person and wasnt used to seeing stuff like this. but i got it off me in time to pray tho. lucky me :D

Oh did i tell you about this weird yet really cool tradition my family does? Instead of giving us lot money like every other person, we exchange presents with each other. Well my mom's side of the family does. So I got my Artemis Fowl-The Time Paradox( YES AFIF I HAVE THT BOOK), this book about piano chords which would really help me when I need help with chords( duuh), my clarks shoes, some malay books and this baju melayu buttons which were pearls. cool aye?
I remember this motivation book which my aunt gave me( yeah she doesnt have a knack for choosing pressies) about studying. there was this passage which said
Ada 3 golongan pelajar.
1 ialah golongan yang mana mereka tahu apa mereka nak. dan mereka akan berusaha utk mendapat apa mereka nak. golongan ini akan mendapat A1. cikgu2 x payah nk jaga sgt
2 ialah golongan yang mana mereka kadang2 morale tinggi, morale rendah. ni cikgu2 kena slalu ckp ngn diaorg supaya mereka mendapat markah tinggi2
3 ialah golongan pelajar setan. apa2 kamu buat mereka x nk ikot dan x nk dgr.

yeah he did actually say setan. I was put off at once. I hate labelling man. Seriously. but its what us malaysians are prone to do. perghh

oh and do you know the short guy at school? the form 3? yeah the really2 short one. well call him short in front of me and I will smack you. He is my cousin and I dont like it when people judge according to appearances. Its so shallow.

Yeah i guess that's my raya for the year. Oh and im really2 envious of people who get thousands of ringgit for their duit raya. Currently i only have a bit over a hundred and twenty :(

O Noble Fool ! A Worthy Fool!

2008-09-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

shes been running to my dreams man . its been driving me crazy, haihh..

today's morning greeted me in such a way.

you see, most things don't work well for me. I try doing a certain something, i fail. I try to start a certain something, I still fail. Lets just say that I fail doing a lot of stuff which I love doing. Apparently my best friend reckons that the same goes for him as well.

You see, relationships...can't say I've had fond memories of them. Among them are a crazy, stalking ex girl friend, a horny girl who turned out to be a lesbian and such. So when I say I haven't had a real relationship, yeah believe me on this one.

Long distance relationships.. no experience at all. I mean i tried. well half tried. I did confess tho! but I thought it would be better and more sincere to actually start a relationship with a girl who i could see and talk to face to face than to have a relationship with someone who I only talk to the phone to, and look at her myspace pictures to remind myself how she looks like. Funny as it may sound, i should have chosen the later.

Everything seemed perfect at that point in time. The best months in my life arguably. She was the only one who actually grew closer to me when i left. the only one mind you. But i just had to fuck it up somewhere in may.

You see, I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. I like to think that I'm perfect. Arrogant as it may sound, it actually helps me when I'm down. Everyone takes comfort in knowing something and I like to be under such an illusion. It also boosts my self-confidence so I doubt I'm ever going to stop. But I know i have flaws. I have a lot of flaws. but hey, i guess that's what makes us humans.

At times, all I can think about is her. I cant focus, I cant concentrate. She fills my thoughts
Does she think the same way about me too? Do I fill her thoughts up with hopes and dreams, and fantasies of being with me? And ultimately Does she love me?

Shut up Shut up Shut up. There's a voice in my head which tells me everything. He makes me consider all alternatives available in everyday choices. Do I listen to him? NO
I used to listen to this 'little guy', but what seemed was good actually took a turning for the worse. Apparently he keys the thoughts which become sins. Greed, lust, anger, wrath. Man i could do a whole list. Try as I might, this little guy still occupies my thoughts when I'm alone. I succumb to him when I'm alone. When I'm down.

I keep in mind that there's only 1 more month. Just one more fucking month. and Everything will be just pure ecstasy. Bliss. I've waited for 1 whole year, 1 more month wont hurt a thing. But the thoughts I get sometimes do make sense, and makes me think.

What if we didn't have that fight in May. She wrote as if she was in love. She thought I might be the one. What if it didn't happen? Would we have been closer? Would every piece fall into place and everything would be as I dreamt it would be?

Try as I might. I cant help falling into the depths of these thoughts.

A Step In The Past

2008-09-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

I dont get girls. One day they could waste money freely just for the sake of talking to you and the next the wont even spend a bit of their time to talk to you. Maybe its because they have priorities. I dont know what Im feeling right now. I just remember a friend who recently had a breakup. The girl had her priorities. So she broke up with him. Said, I love you thts why I have to break up with you. The irony of it. What is love anyway? I might have felt this "love" before. Maybe I am in "love". But if this is love, why love?

I felt overjoyed. I dont know why. I was screaming and screaming saying "I got into KYS!". When did it started? Last I remembered was that, my parents were driving me to this boarding school where i knew no one. I distinctively remember calling someone and just talking. I wasnt sure who was it, but we were crying saying that just when i got back we had to part again. Trying to hold back tears. man it sucked.

BUT ALAS ITS A DREAM. I woke up with tears in my eyes. Funnily enough, my heart of stone actually cracked to a dream? I just sat on my bed trying to remember every detail in the dream, but it was pointless. I could only remember bits and pieces of it. Why did I dream of such a thing anyway? Does it have to do with anything that has or might happen? It really makes you think, these kind of things.

I opened up my diary. well journal but whose counting? And i saw bits and ends of paper everywhere. Apparently there were some lyrics I made while I was in a band. I thought I had lost most of them. Well i did burn half of the good ones, but the ones i still kept and found were wow. Very interesting. I could feel the emotion that i felt when I wrote it. Its like an inventor tweaking with a new invention. The childish joy felt from it. The excitement that justs builds up in you. And the satisfaction when finishing it. I feel that satisfaction when Im done with the lyrics.

I used to be well..emo? I couldnt write songs that didnt have to do anything with break-ups, being played around, and just love tht didnt happen. Arguably, depressing lyrics and music are the best in the world, when heard. Its because of the emotion felt from it. I like feeling emo to be honest. It makes me a better song writer.

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it!

2008-08-29T05:27:00.000-07:00

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it.

haha today was well fun. I woke up round 6.30 and had to rush 'cause ikhsan apparently wanted to hitch a ride with me. So as i was in the car I had the conversation

Ikhsan: weh, bosan ah nak gi skola. Hari ni bosan plak! Mungkin aku gi maen match kot kt 12. Aku bwk boot suma ni.

Jaji: Bodo ahh, cm x tau class kte. benda bosan cm hari ni pwn leh jd best.

Ikhsan: tuh ah. tp mana tau kn...

So when we arrived, everyone was sitting around. We had to gather round and had to go to 'greet' the Vice-Minister of Education. Everyone started to take their places around 7.50? I cant be asked and walked around. I eventually went around 8.15. YB was meant to arrive at 8. But we freaking waited till 8.45 and still no sign of him. Most kids eventually grew bored and went to Stadium. i thought i might tag along but most of them went with Hazrain. He keeps ignoring and avoiding me these days. I dont know whats wrong with him. Im not bothered anyway :p but then Shahiir and Aiman Basyar wanted to go. So i thought "what the heck? theres nothing here anyway". and went with them. We talked about how Hakim injured his wrist and just had a drink of Iced tea. We were on a budget mate :P

So as we went back, suddenly saw everyone leaving the entrance. Seems that the YB had arrived while we had our 'break'. So we went to where we had to go. Science lab.

The girls were complaining that we didnt tell them that we went there to grab a drink. They were bored to death themselves waiting. haha unlucky. So Syazwanie suddenly said

Syazwanie: Nasib baek YB tu bukan Anwar, atau x suma laki cabut lari suma

Jaji: Korang x suka Anwar eh?

Syazwanie, Nadirah, Farah: DIA GAY AH WEH.

So that answers my question. I dont adore Anwar as well. haha, so we had a talk concerning politics. I suddenly felt 20 years older. lol. but it was really interesting.

After the chat, finally the doors to the lab opened and we went in. Went to our stations and had everything prepared. Mine was how to make ice cream. There were many other experiments such as

The Marine Garden: Acap explained that it was related to density. And he demonstrated how with adding Sodium Silicate and adding some substances, those substances which at start was hardly anything formed into a garden under water. So i remarked "Interessant".

Super Starch: Super doesnt even cover it! lol. it may seem boring but its really fascinating. Afrina gave me a basic explanation that when you move the starch around, which was made out of cornflour and water, it would suddenly harden. But when left for a few seconds it would retain its regular form which was a sticky dough kinda thingy.

Invisible Ink

How to make soap

Why shouldnt you smoke: a really basic and well known experiment. I even did this in the UK. But it really shows why you shouldnt smoke. Why, oh why didnt the smokers come today? lol

Electric Chair: To be honest when I heard of it, I imagined this torture instrument where you had to tell the truth or get electrocuted. But it turned out to be this game where you couldnt touch the wire. You get a hoop and you try to get it towards the end. I was so ever close to finishing it when Safwan came and pushed me. I was so damn close! ahhh

So back to my station. I was the 'shaker'. My job was to shake the mixture of milk and sugar whcih was then put into a plastic bag which was filled with ice with salt as to not make the ice melt easily.

Farah: Skang ni, kena ah shake it Jaji.

Jaji: WAIT!! ( checks Iphone) THE HELL?! NINA!! MANA SHAKE IT BY METRO STATION!

So in the end, i couldnt actually shake it to the tune of shake it by metro station. But Beat it by Fallout Boy which proved to be quite a good improvisation. So though I was meant to shake the plastic bag for 20 mins, I only took 15. I think it was because i was so engrossed in the music that I shook the bag at quite a pace which speed up the forming of the Icecream.

So when I finished, I was like, so damn happy that it actually went well. haha, and i was saying to Nadirah

Jaji: From now onwards eh, i will appreciate org buat ice cream ah.

Nadirah: but, diaorg pakai machine ah buat...

Jaji: Asal kena kacau mood?!

So i had everyone tasting the ice cream.I was saying to one of the juniors, Alaa, kalo x de duit nk makan baskin robbins buat cmni je jd ah.

The second time the ice cream was done, I just left it beside me waiting for someone to go around serving it. I continued my task of shaking the bag. 5 mins after, Ikhsan suddenly came to me with an empty cup saying how delicious it was and all. I glanced beside me and saw that the cup was missing. So Ikhsan actually hogged the whole cup all to himself =.= Pig. But i was happy in a way, that he enjoyed it haha

But my task was really dragging after doing it for the 4th time, i mean you have to shake it for 20 mins everytime. Eventually my arms went sore and I had a break. It was then I tasted the ice cream. As i was doing it for the 5th time, miss suddenly went to me and said

Miss: Farquar! dh siap dh tu. Ni nk bg guru besar mkn

Jaji: tp cikgu! x siap lg ah.

Miss: cukup lah tuh

And as i said, it wasnt ready yet. So i had to put it into a bag all again, with new ice. ahhhh miss was so really anxious.

Towards the end of the day, I went to claim my carton of milk. Since I came back, I suddenly find milk very appealing. So everyone was saying "Jaji x habis2 ahh ngn susu dia". But I finished nearly a carton and a half. What can I say? I love milk.

But as I was drinking for this picture, I suddenly tasted salt in it. Urgh. Man, I almost felt like milk was horrid once again. But after rinsing it was alright.
As I was looking at the pictures, Kamil actually appeared in most of my pictures. haha bastard.

Also took some pictures. here are the ones that turned out well :D

Me and my bestfriend, Nadirah bt, Mat Zain( Pak Cik Playboy)
So that was my day, if you ever feel like reading another person's view of the day feel free to go to Syanaz's blog. She has some pics that I dont. lol

syanazmcblurry.blogspot.com

au revoir mate!

How fucked up was it?

2008-08-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

Ahh. bengang, bengang, bengang. yes i know i havent been saying a lot of malay words in my blog, but ahh, BENGANG.

So today started pretty well, i mean like everyone seemed decent and all. but unfortunately it wasnt as i thought it would be. I went and met Pn. Norlida, who is the Evening session supervisor. Apparently she's one of my mates mom. Shahiir's. So she remembered me( how could anyone forget jaji? ) and said something about they already had a place reserved for me in berlian. I was like Wallahi! Thank god! And as a backup plan, my mom had some reports of my achievements there in the uk, saying how good and stuff i was. It was meant as a backup but even tho we didnt have to go tht far, we actually showed her my reports and all. And now, the teachers have high hopes from a golden award achiever -__- UNLUCKY.

So everyone was saying hi and all, and i was a bit out of place. Some people such as luqman said something about my face but i just ignored him. But then when i went to the surau, fucking people like rhyz and ashraf were like really fucking immature. It seems that berlian is the only class who are willing to do their prayers jemaah im not quite sure if im actually saying it right because jemaah isnt the english term. but you still get it so what the heck. So rhyz and ashraf were like touching my butt and poking it while saying Doggy stle, doggy style. how vulgar and disgusting are they?

And they kept punching me and kicking me while i was doing my salaat. thankfully through my experiences at riverside, ive become much more tougher than I was before. People like that cant compare to Riverside matee. Half the students have banged police before. So Rhyz was like really rude and humilliating when he suddenly said to me at the surau

Rhyz: weh farquar bler birthday ko ah?
Farquar: birthday aku..
Rhyz: sbb aku nk bg oxy ah. muka ko buruk sgt

like wtf? What the hell is your problem? they talk as if you're so flawless and superior compared to all. Look in the mirror bastards. there you'll see a degraded kid whose so immature, you disgust people who are. damn bastards.

And they also just had to insult my height. Saying bout everyone in the room being taller than me. to be honest, i am taller than some of them. Get your facts right before you make a conclusion bitch. I dont really give a damn about my height anyway. At the end of the day, Ive got more brains than them. Whats the use of being really2 tall anyway? i asked and they said its to get tall girls. Frankly speaking I never found tall girls to be attractive. I look way beyond their physical qualities. Shows how shallow people are. God today was like really2 fucking suckish.

Its not like everyone didnt make a comment regarding my face. But its the way you actually say it that gets to me. Some just go on and on about it. It saddens me that the malay are the only ones who are like that. Why cant they be more mature? If its to say they're only 14, the kids back in leicester were 13 and they were still more mature compared to them here. whats the problem here?

And then pn. rachel came into the class. the thing is when i communicate in english with a non-malay, i tend to use an accent. so when she was talking to me in english, i answered back in pure english accent.

Pn. Rachel: Budak baru, mana buku?

Jaji: Im sorry miss, I think i left it.

Pn Rachel: Okay, bring it in tomorrow then.

Jaji: but miss I left it in my country( when i was in england, i used to say my country a lot, so i accidently slipped here. lol)

I then explained to her how my books are back in the uk and that It was completely irrelevant to the curriculum here. And her only retort was

Jaji: I just arrived from the uk.

Pn. Rachel( pandang slack) : England?

Jaji: Yeah

Rachel: England?

Jaji: Yeah

Rachel: England?

Jaji: YES!

God i wonder what happened back then. was she deaf or was it the fact that she didnt believe that i just arrived from uk? i mean england, uk, great britain, britain, The fucking english, wtv you wanna call them, geez.

And i was really pissed off and i had a talk with alyssa. She was sayign how mean they were and were suprised at the fact that they used to be like really close to me and now they're acting like bitches. But i actually planned to talk to her for 10 mins. but it turned out to be 40 mins. haha. but seriously its really nice to have someone to let it all out to. i even forgot to say my thx =.=

So that was my fucked up day. lets see how great today might turned out to be?

Home

2008-08-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And im finally home. Got people trying to talk to me on msn saying welcome home and stuff like that. just wanted to say Thanks and im grateful for the wishes. Forgive me if i may not talk to you. Ive been really busy and bored. I injured my knee playing footie in the uk and now I need to undergo Rehabilitation. Wow, feels like ive been playing professionally xD. Its something that I read about but never had the chance to experience it. Its not that bad. Just need a few weeks of it.

So far i havent complained regarding the temperature. Still I think im just feeling the effects of Jet-Lag right now. God im feeling so damn out of energy. But shit I have to play footie with Ikhsan. nothing much to say. just wanted to say sorry to some people for not being able to go out with you lot, but hey i didnt ask to be rehabilitated. so soz.

There goes the down pour, Here goes my fare thee well. Prt 2

2008-08-20T01:56:00.000-07:00

The 2nd day was just as bad as the 1st in terms of me being confused and getting lost and all. It was pretty much chaotic for me. I was still alone in my classes and being alone wasnt really exciting.. The lessons were relatively easy and I was able to do most of them. But then I had french. it was like, the fuck? i was hopeless. completely and utterly useless. Luckily I wasnt the only one, Khalfan sucked as well =.=

So we had help from miss but we were really2 left behind. I remember trying to learn the numbers, une, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix. I was sounding each and every letter in the word, which was so wrong. une was pronounced uh, and deux as dooss. it took a few months to get used to it but the 1st time was ever so horrible. I vaguely remember the 1st conversation thingy i had to learn. it was like

Farquar: Bonjour! Comment tu t'appelle?
Ikhsan:Je m'appelle Ikhsan Rushdi, Et toi?
Farquar: Je m'appelle Farquar Fadhlullah.

Yeah it was somewhat like that, it was really2 basic french but then again, it wasa my 1st exercise which i distinctively remember that i did pretty well.

After a week of school, It was half term. Came back to school after the holidays to see a new kid. The 1st time i saw him, my 1st thoughts were, "Carlos Tevez?!" but it wasnt. in fact he was from czech republic and his name was Roman Riha. People still call him Tevez tho. He really looks like tevez xD. I kept trying to say to him that I was new as well, but he couldnt understand me, so in the end i just gave up and said " My name is Farquar. Nice to meet ya"

There goes the down pour, Here goes my fare thee well Part 1.

2008-08-16T16:35:00.001-07:00

Looking for something that I've never seen. Alone and I'm in between
The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never been
I found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's just a few things you should know
We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow

So, today is my final blog post in East Midlands, United Kingdom. lots have been happening to me. Its been a pleasure to actually get this experience of being in another country. its not something that happens very often and alhamdulillah i had the chance. England has changed me in various ways. some which might not actually be nice and all, but I believe that coming here has made me find myself where i belong. The post will be in several posts which probably will be back in malaysia. But still enjoy.

Before, I used to think where do I belong? I used to hang around with the nerds, then with the popular kids but i wasnt really that close to them. they were just like a crowd who i associate myself with at that moment in time. When I came here, i wasnt really inclined to like uk. it was cold, really damn cold. and then the unpredictable british weather. and for heavens sake the radio station was absolutely devastating.

I went to Riverside Business & Enterprise College. A school in which during my 1st day, was argueably the worst day of school life which i ever had. I was supposed to have someone to guide me here and there. The person never showed up. I had to learn to walk around to unknown classes myself. I was hopelessly lost and always went to the office to ask directions. Luckily for me, I had the gift of English Speaking which the Brits as they said was wonderful. They even exclaimed that i spoke like a british myself. that was how high my standard of english was. or so as i thought. I quickly understood where i was to go but its a big school. heck and its your 1st day and you have to walk to lessons and stuff.

When I had period 1 which was science. it was my 1st experience being in an english classroom. I had to sit at the back, and the teacher who was Miss Martha Campion, told a guy to sit at the front with me to help me. The guy was Jordan Husselbee. He was in a tantrum and everything and got a detention for refusing to sit at the front. I just blankly told him that "Hey, if you dont wanna help dont." That pulled a shocking face from him. But Miss just said it isnt my fault, it was his. He then got a detention which i really felt guilty about. I then had Matthew Blogun and Sophie Ward to take me around. they turned out to be tramps but i was really grateful to them back then. Thts why I dont really say much about Ginger.

I was lost this one time. it was period 4. Just after having our regular dance lessons, I was walking with this guy who was to show me where I was to go. I saw people making out in one of the small staircases thingy, and they glared at me like I had done something to piss them off. Later I then knew they discriminated against and me and was a form of racism which was a normal behavior of whites. They swore at me and everything and I just kept my bloody mouth shut. Believe me I was afraid.

Im not like some people who would then fight back and all. no. i have this thing planted in my mind that no matter what I say or do, the whites would help the whites. its human nature. you help your own people. i had to play it cool and stay calm. Because i was in a white country. i have to respect them. i shouldnt do what i normally do bck in malaysia. that was what i thought at that time.

When i got back home, I was about crying to my mom. I was saying how much i hated this school of mine and how I was miserable and depressed and no matter what my mom did, it didnt cheer me up. I was messed up. Mentally. She even said that if i wanted to go bck she wouldnt blame me. if it really made me depressed i could leave during the winter break. But i remembered how much she had to consider of me to allow me to go with her here. so i told her that id still give it a go and we'll see how it goes. tho i was still depressed. at the end of the 1st day actually, that was when i met Khalfan Abdallah.

We just finished 2nd period and I was like trying to find my way to the next class when he suddenly pulled me and asked me, "where is chinese guy?" the chinese guy turned out to be LiHao Zheng, who soon turned out to be one of my best mates here. I said i didnt know but hey, he talked to me so what the heck? might as well stay with him. tho i had heard black people were aggressive and all but he didnt seem that bad so i stayed. then we started to talk to each other but their english was at a low lvl and they didnt seem to talk much so i only had their names. I told khalfan to meet me at the gates the next morning, which he did. God it was thx to Li and Khalfan that I managed through that hellish time of lonliness and fitting in.

After the 1st day, i had PE. it seemed that Li Khalfan and myself, almost had the same time table to each other, whenever im not in a class with Li, Im with Khalfan. So we had PE, and then I met Chirag Jotangia, another good mate. We were playing football and I used my agility to the most and scored a few goals. The training I had when I was back in malaysia paid off quite a bit. At the end of the game, my partner who played on the left wing congratulated me and said i was good and all. I just laughed and said my thx. I asked him name. It was Kyle Weston who turned out to be my drummer.

End of part 1

Empty Space

2008-08-15T02:42:00.001-07:00

It's a void that I can't fill
An empty space I can't replace
With anything at all
The lights are all burnt out
And smoke will drive the swimmers down
there's noone left at all

You've done enough
He's still alive
He's breathing on his own
I leave everything I have
You've done enough
He's still alive
And he's breathing on his own
And he's breathing on his own

There's chaos everywhere
And panic written on the air
That everyone is breathing
And crushing light of day
Pain will never wash away
Fear will never leave

You've done enough
He's still alive
He's breathing on his own
I leave everything I have
You've done enough
He's still alive
And he's breathing on his own
And he's breathing on his own

And god save our souls
How tables have turned
And broke

One more like this could be the end
They say they told us all along
But we were busy getting laid
One more like this will be the end
And we've known it all along
We've known it all along

Lol. An Awkward Situation

2008-08-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

ok really2 short post this time. didnt do much today. the guys came to pick up the boxes to ship back to malaysia today. feel bit relieved now that they're gone. now i can focus more to packing stuff into the suitcase. i dont really do tht much work tho. lol

so today i was expecting khalfan to come round mine. he didnt tho. think its because of the fact that i forgot to call him to remind him. leason to taught here. if you want to ever ask a mate to come round yours, best remind him again and again till he's sick of it.

and today i went to ustaz nisar's house to talk a bit and stuff. watched a liverpool match against standard legion or sumthing. cant believe that liverpool couldnt score. it was nil-nil to both teams. but looking back, standard was really dominating the match. bit dissapointed tho. im quite a fan of the reds tho I'm a real Arsenal's fan. but liverpool has always had a soft spot in my heart. my whole family supports liverpool. aha

and as i was browsing through the channels, suddenly i stopped at this playboy adult channel. and to make things worse the remote suddenly couldnt work! it was stuck at this naked girl's picture and i was like OMG! i'm at a religious guy's house and i put on some adult tv thing! but the adults just took it for a mistake thank god. but seriously it was a really awkward situation. my dad was saying, " that's an after-meal suprise". but seriously. i wonder why the remote suddenly chose that moment not to work. just had to turn me red at that moment. haha. i will never again browse through channels myself. ive learnt a valuable lesson today. and i wont forget it. HAHA

Zaoza- David Blaine's Street Magic Part 5! and some others.

2008-08-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

erm. concerning my last post, i was really2 agitated at that time and really said a lot of stuff. im not gonna say i didnt mean it because i did at that time and i think what i did was acceptable and rational to say the least. but wtf, who gives a damn about tht anymore? as i said i hate to be angry and all. so i have forgiven both A and B. i dont really think i should tell the names as to not humilliate them any further. so :D
so my last 4 days have been really2 average. and i dnt really get average days a lot. but strictly speaking, i hate average days =.=. i hate to think tht i am normal as everyone else, so eventhough it might only be me who might think im special, its comforting enough :).
so around sunday i sent a msg to alyssa. saying best luck on her trials and everything. luckily enough i had around 2 pounds worth of credit left on my phone, so the text was only 20p. i said something like "gd luck for ur trials. will catch up with you when i get back". so she replied, "Yeah key. thnk jaji =D". i was just about to reply saying tht erm, grammar mistake -__-' when i realised that she wouldnt like to hear tht a few hours before her exam. the thought that she actually replied showed that she was somehow grateful aye? probably she was nervous of the exam, simple error or maybe it was because of the simple fact that it was at 5 plus in the morning. lol its a really bad habit that i have. people really suffer when making grammatical mistakes when talking to me. its easy for me not to tho. just speak plain malay or perfect english :) i guess i got the habit from my elder brother who really liks to twist words in such a way which makes me feel very insuperior to him.
oh and today i had a chat with adam ariff. i asked him if he's still gonna be in msia next week? and he replied : yes fucker. throughout the whole conversation, he was swearing in almost every sentence. but it was because he felt lonely and missed me and all. i said awww and he got pissed yet again =.=. and we had a debate on whose more envious of the other? lol in the end we were equal. but seriously i really envy people with clear skin. because i dont have such skin obviously. and we talked about parents and friends and everything. and how moving to another country really showed us peoples true nature. he's worse off than me to be honest. ahh cant really wait to see him and a few others when i get back. he's number2 on my who id like to meet when i get bck. number 1 is someone really special tho. heck ive never even talked to her in person. godd its funny on how you become closer with people whom you werent with back in your country. ahh i guess in a way, distance makes the heart grow fonder makes sense. oh i just finished yet again another manga. i read them by the dozen every week. lol now i know how i discovered yosh. it actually meant like to be used to give encouragement or something? ahh im really useless at explaining things.
enjoy a random shin-chan joke which i found in the credits page of Fight no Akatsuki.

so i guess thats it from me for now. lately things have been really busy so i dont have much time to do stuff. i also heard from adam that his neighbour read my blog and enjoyed my writing style? its really nice to be appreciated. im flattered really. lol something new happens everyday. adam said something about british style writing and all. but to be honest im in the 2nd bottom set for english. im actually top set material but then because i was new and wondered around and followed mates and all i ended up in tht class =.=
still thankyou again and hey who knows?we might be mates you and me :D

oh yeah. i found the highly anticipated DAVID BLAINE'S STREET MAGIC SPECIAL 5!!!!
its quite funny and all but zaoza just kills it. ah well here goes.comment if you enjoyed it, or not. or if you're lazy like a certain melissa, there's the chatbox on the right hand side. cheers guys

ps. secondhand serenade's fall for you is really catchy. im acually learning to play it :)

A Frustrated Boy Ranting out on Anger

2008-08-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

FOR FUCKS SAKE! I am lately irateful at a certain someone today. fuck you. why? so lets just say that there is this person yeah? she knows my myspace password. heck i told her my password for all of my accounts. because since i was 10, i kept using only 3 different passwords which hardly differ from each other. because of this certain bitch, i have to change my ways.

she hacked into my myspace recently. she saw 2 conversations concerning me and a friend who is in an unfavourable situation with her mates. she was like, "oh convo with ----!". and i politely obliged her not to mess about with my stuff and not read my private stuff. and i actually begged her to be honest. sheesh. thought she was heck of a friend. and then saw a conversation with shahmi. she once again wanted to poke and pry in my business which didnt concern her in any way at all.

so today i was really2 bored. so i was looking in the sent items. the i found that i had sent a message to A( lets just call tht person A for now). and i was rather suprised. i dont send messages to A? whats this? then i saw the title " convo --- dgn jaji. shhh". i was like, what the fuck?! I FUCKING TOLD HER NOT TO FUCKING READ MY MESSAGES AND SHE SAID SHE WOULDNT SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! so then i looked into her myspace ( i helped make her a new password ). i looked in her sent items and i saw that she has been reading my emails with Natasha Roslan when i was in Standard 6. and when we were chatting (lets call the person who im on about B yeah) B was saying im skema im skema. ok i admit at that time i was as you say 'skema'. but then being the BITCH that i never knew she was, she just had to forward it to A about it. with the title FW: jaji skema nak mati ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. she just fucking violates my privacy by doing such an idiotic thing. she just had to tell the whole world now innit? FUCK YOU

and then you wonder why people say stuff about you. you wonder why people find faults about you. you wonder about half a million things in the world BUT YOU JUST DONT GIVE DAMN ABOUT FIXING IT SO IT DOESNT HAPPEN, NOW DO YOU? wallahi. i seriously thought that i could trust you and all. now im not gonna be sad by saying that oh you dont have friends is because you're like that because im sure that's not true. but what is true is that even if you are half a decent person that i took you were, you would have lots of friends and wouldnt be thinking about " oh life is sucky". dont you know the rule for making friends is to be a friend? lets hope that you're not what i imagine you to be at the moment. and right now, its really2 unpleasant.

what puzzles me tho, is that why do such a thing? if you really are desperate for friends then you would actually treasure them and not do this kind of idiotic stuff. you could get all a's in exams for all i care.
you could be the ace student but if this is the kind of person you really are then you'd best change before its too late. if you actually thought of me as a friend or 'close friend' you wouldnt even go to such far a distance to humilliate me. if you'd say i dont care, then why do i even bother with you to begin with. ill tell you yeah, i can help you to make friends but you're the one whose job is to keep them. no point if you dont do whats necessary. if you are reading this, A or B let me say that i do not hold a grudge on you tho some ppl might. im not like that. i hate to hold grudges. its just that this kind of thing is indecent and deceitful. its not really nice to put in simple terms. why do it?

I'm not even sure if i want to be as close as i was to you. because whats the point? i get close to you and tell you secrets and there you go telling the whole world and do stuff which i wouldnt even dream of doing to you. just go look in the mirror.

look at your faults and try to correct them. you dont need people to help you make friends. the only things you need is in you already. just get them working and voila there you go. friends all around you. if you wanna be picky and say that you want true friends only, i cant help you there. because you start small. yoiu have to start somewhere. better to have 10 friends who arent true than none at all. its just helpful to have someone than no one. god mate. you just had to do it from the back. why didnt you tell me this to begin with? i regret trusting you honestly. i regret this shit. comeon lah weyh. you're not a bitch. why be one? man..

oh and sorry alyssa x balas kt msn, my mom was using :) lol

Ahh, Tht's Well Sad Man

2008-08-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

ahh, i changed my blog layout cause the last one was a bit disturbing. cause when i typed out my blog, i had to change all of the colours to white so that it would be visible. very2 annoying and irritating at times. so i just changed it to this one. looks more flashy if i have to say so myself. :P

erm
the highly anticipated trip to ronnie's house didnt happen as was planned. lol. shadi got sick so i couldnt go. im coming round his on tuesday tho. so erm, i got great news from leandro :D
he's not going back to portugal till december. so he'll still be with me this holidays. now thts a true mate for me to be sure. :P

so i read syanaz's blog. she said something about hazrain saying he doesnt like me. well to be honest, im not really bothered. why should i? its a waste of my time. but the thing which ticked me off was tht she said something about bestfriends dont last forever in high school. (which in usj 13, isnt a high school but is a middle school). so im kinda ticked tht she was implying tht hazrain was my bestfrien. he's not really. just because we use to hang out together back when i was in msia, doesnt mean tht he's my bestfriend. ffs. ah well, like i said, i cba do amend things.

and then firman changed his top friends. i was his number 1 friend but now, im on 2nd D:( this emoticon is really annoying i know) it seems he got himself a bird. tres bien mate! but then, i read his comments and messages out of curiousity, and saw that the girl has a boyfriend but because she "loves" firman, she wants to break up with her boyfriend. ahh, thats well sad man. how could you do such a thing? even if you do happen to fancy the girl, you shouldve known she was off limits till she's single. god i dont get ppl nowadays. i used to be in his shoes 1 time. it was when i fancied lenny naziera. her boyfriend was mahathir at that time. some ppl might remember then. but i just silently made my move and when mahathir left, i asked her out. now firman shouldve done tht but he just has to do it the typical firman way. haihh. when you do something like that, wouldnt the girl, if she fancied someone else, do the same to you? get a boyfriend behind your back and then cause problems and ask for a break up? i really hate relationships where you say i love you, i love you yet only last for a few weeks or months. god damn it man, how much can you love a guy who you've only known for a few months? unless under certain circumstances, she suddenly became ur bestfriend whom you fancy( i am not implying to anyone in particular so do not make your own unruly accusations). haihh. its really2 wrong man. i agree with ashraf zafri when he says that its hard to find a girl for yourself. especially when you want a serious relationship with a girl for what? a year or so. you dont just go out with someone just for the sake of going out with someone. same goes fr making out. lol if i was like tht adam ariff would beat the shit out of me he said.
people dont really think that far when they go out with someone dont they? figures why i refuse to have a relationship with ppl that i barely know. i dont take this shit about, ohh u can get to know me better when you're my boyfriend. believe me, ive walked down that path before and that girl was BORING.

so my advice to you(who am i talking to again?) is that dont do such things even when you're desperately in love( puppy love *scoffs*) with a girl( or guy). if you really "love" her (or him) that much you can obviously wait for her till you can get her( or..him..) the proper way. doing things like is well sad. and it also jeapordizes you're relationship with her. heck if she's in her right mind, she wouldve found out that if you were asking her to do such things, you might do the same for her later on in the near future. life is sucky. karma is sucky. what goes around, comes around. i hope it wont turn as bad as i think it might be, firman. i hope it dont. and earlier on i gave up putting the brackets saying males, him, guys and stuff. so what if i discriminate on gender? its just one blog post -__-'. how was i discriminating anyway? eu juro..

oh yeah i just found this pic from firman's myspace. i look like a proper nice guy ! lol

so far, till then :D

And then there were 3

2008-07-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

ah its only gonna be a short post this time. ahh ive been busy like shit. ive been packing stuff into boxes to ship back home. and when i mean home, i mean home in malaysia. however much i complain about the stuff happening back home, i just have to admit tht i really2 do love malaysia however shitty it may be :D

roman's gone back to czech. ahh my best mate has gone. :(
life goes on i guess. i have his skype, so im able to skype with him and such. what is skype?

Skype: Skype lets you make free calls over the internet to anyone else who also has the service. It's free and easy to download and use, and it works with most computers. Skype offers free global telephony and unlimited voice calls with its next-generation peer-to-peer software.

so tht explains skype. hopefully.

mario's gone back to portugal. for holidays. ah didnt even manage to meet him before he left. ah well he's a twat anyways so F him :). Sonata's gone back to lithuania according to roman. ahh loads of ppl have left for holiday. i bet kamran's in birmingham now. lol he just loves b'ham.
so now from my little group of immigrants, we're left with malaysia,tanzania and portugal. mario's actually spanish tho :O
leandro's leaving for portugal on the 5th next month. and khalfan? ahh he's staying in england still. he's going back next year probably. so, damn i need to spend time with my mates. ahh

for the band? Shekinah's gone to america for holidays. ive heard she's american and she admits she's american but im not too sure. lol. god knows whats with kyle weston, tomorrow, im going to Ronnie's house. im not too keen on the visit lol. i feel sick. amy's going to hunstanton. its a small seaside place says amy. so wow, everyone's going on holiday.

so what bout me?

to be honest, its been a really2 long holiday for me. i went to uk. i got educated for a year in uk. heck, ive been here and established myself as a musican. so my holidays ending as the summer goes by. ah only a few weeks left.
before, i used to think tht im really great and handsome and such before i left. but then i got spots and i wont really say looks are my forte right now. but its hard since i got into riverside. everyone says riverside is a really hard school to blend into to be honest. but hey im a fighter. i got past my worst 1st day of school in my life, to what becomes my fav school in the world. ah i can remember what it felt like to be ignored by everyone, it really made me more humble ever since. ahh not much to say, probably ill take photo's tomoz when im round ronnies. cheers mate

I'm more of a friend than of a lover.

2008-07-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

to be honest i actually planned to update it a few days before. but then i keep forgetting or i cant be asked. so today is ryan's birthday! lol. happy 16th birthday ryan! wait ill put a picture of him (lol i look well chinese in this pic)there's ryan rawlings for ya. happy birthday again mate. :D

so what have i been up to lately? well i went for this family day thingy organzied by MASLEIC which is short for Malaysian Association Leicester( I think). So i met the kiddies yet again. the kids around here are really small. im like one of the eldest here. so i tend to become the "abang". so in short they call me Abang Jaji. yes say what u want to say. laugh all you want but hey i cant help it.

so we had a barbeque and stuff. it was getting well boring till suddenly i saw

FARHAD!

so who is Farhad? to bo honest i dont quite know tht much of him. except tht his middle name is Selangor. cool aye? he's arabian. he's quarter malay. his grandma married with an arab. i dont wanna go in detail but get this. he doesnt even look like an arab. he look malay! you wouldnt know tht he's arab till he tells ya. or when you discover the fact tht he cant speak malay. he understands a bit but hey like i said. a bit.

So he's one of my best mates when it comes to playing football. eventhough he's 12, he can skill me loads of times. lol. but he is good. no joking.
but I'm better :D
so it was rather boring and stuff so i dont really wanna talk about it. oh yeah i made a new friend. his name is fawazy. he's 14. like me. he's been around uk for a year and half? and he lives in manchester. lol he's a bastard in football. usually ppl do skills and everything before they try to score. fawazy? he gets the ball, he rams it. and he scores. exasperating, yes. but you cant deny tht he can score goals. lol

so ok so now lets skip the boring talk. ahh whats with my title? so today emma asked me if i fancy her. and i said no. WOOOOOOOO! :D
but tht has nothing to do with what im going to say but hey, she can go **** herself cause i dont give a damn!

so today ronnie and me told amy tht kyle fancies her. and she said she knew. shekinah told her months ago lol. and then i asked amy, what would she say if ronnie fancies her? and she was like, oh i wouldnt be suprised cause look at the way he's acting lol. and i said, ahh i just cant seem to suprise you.

I wonder. Wouldve she been suprised if I said i fancy her? but i just couldnt bring myself to say it. ahh im more of a friend to her than a lover. its just tht i do care so much about her tht i just cant bring myself to say tht i like her. i dont wanna risk it. normal i guess. but its true anyhow. Im afraid to say it to her. i got rejected by emma so i dont want the same thing happening to me with amy. ahh its the least i can do anyway for her. anyhow, im not at total loss. there's tht certain someone waiting for me :P
or rather i still hope she's waiting. lol i wouldnt trade her for the world. ah you know who you are ;)

oh and there's a pic which farhad is in.

he's under me. he looks somewhat like nazhan tho. haha. oh im going to his house on thursday to play footie. im gonna murder him lol.

oh and ever thought of what might happen if you're stranded on an island with only a pair of gloves and ur hungry? no? well,what might you have done? well i wouldve done this.

desperate times calls for desperate measures! cheerio!

Ahh. What An Emotional Day

2008-07-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

omg omg omg. last day of school doe. cm omg. lmao
seriously its been such an emotional day. i tried my best to look as if i dont care but because everyone's leaving its just really2 sad :(

today finally after long last, we did our recordings. ahh my voice was well shit when we sang apologize. ah well. i cant sing most rock based songs anyways. i sing indieeeeeeee

cm today Jordan suddenly went to Roman and asked him if he could sign Roman's shirt. I was like, the hell? why didnt i think of this before? because when i was back in msia i kinda dont think signing shirts was tht great and i dont get why ppl do it. wow, its really amazing what a year of british education can do to ya. so i was like

Jaji: JACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Sign MINEEEEEEEE!

and Jack did. ah bless him. one of my best English mates he is. He also bought me a miniature Eiffel Tower. He actually tot of me when he went to Paris. aww im touched. :D

And then came the long day of asking people to sign my shirt. Ahh it was well tiring but worth every minute. I mean come on mate, Katy Deegan signed me shirt during PE, and i dont even talk to Katy. ( She's well fitttttttttttt. Unlucky tho. She going out with Gavin)
Oh yh. i suck at baseball -__-'. i guess its not really my sport.

At lunch time, I was down at Music. for recording and stuff. even if there wasnt any recordings going on I would still be down there. Amy's there :D
The only thing which actually spoiled it was the tuning of the piano. its really2 damn out of tune. heck, me and amy love it anyway. but you dont really get the feel from an out of tuned piano aye?
and then to make matters worse, the chair suddenly broke. like wtf!? I broke the piano stool? :'( am i tht heavy?
So we had to change the stool. ah well, it was getting creaky anyway. i was helping the school out. i meant to break it anyway :P

So we recorded it. Im not gonna say tht it sounded well nice and everything, but comeon man. we're all amatuers in music except for Shekinah and Amy. the rest of us have only been playing for few months. me especially. im quite happy the way it is.

So among the signs and messages, there were a few which were rather hilarious.

Lol. Amy's great art. :D Gonna Miss u loads Amyyyyyyyyyy

Last day and he still calls me a punk? haihh. tht ones from Leandro Emmanuel Silva.

WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK?! HAHAHAHHAHA. Dean's gay lmao. wait this is a pic of him. on the left yh. aha, the ginger dude :P

Ahh Arron2. Im speechless

And then one of them really touched my heart tho. It was this one

Can hardly make out the words? same here. but after like checking like shit, it said

"He's My Best Friend. Roman"

shittttttttttttt. i was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

And i put mine on his as, "This Guy, Is Me Brother".
I swear we're really close. heck we came to school around the same time, never ever said a bad thing to me and punched me and stuff. for tht i thank him :D

Ronnie and me took some pics of us. I dont quite know what our band name is because we didnt officially decide on one,but it was kinda Crossing Rivers. So this is it. Crossing Rivers

They're wacky :D My Band Members.

I really like this picture tho. looks casual.

So, last words?

Arron Buckler and Kyle Weston. lets start with Arron. i used to hate him. he bullied me and my mates just because we're not british. funnily enough we're tight frens now. wow things have changed. Kyle Weston,the one man band, he gave me a chance to make a band with him. there were crappy times and everything but in the end it worked out. shame he blew us on our biggest gig ever but he's still there :D. Them both are the bloody pair of Crossing Rivers. they fight, argue, bitch. god they do everything bad together. They hate each other, They love each other. At the end of the day, the both need each other in the band. lol our fights seem so meaningless now. I'm gonna miss my bassist and drummer.

Amy Boc and Shekinah Mcfarlane. When I first came to this school, when i was with roman, suddenly this black girl came to us and asked fr hugs and stuff. and then she would scream and everything at guys. we called her crazy bitch at tht time. oh it was our lovable shekinah. over the months we have become close. i dont call or refer to her as crazy bitch anymore but heck, she's one hell of a singer and fren. im sorry if i made u cry at tht time. shouldnt have fought for the song tht i made lol. u can have it now. i dont mind:D. I met Amy at choir. We were to sing Apologize tht time. ahh my 1st gig. i remember it so damn much. ive progressed ever since. she was the scroller for the lyrics tht time. and then wow2 she could play bass guitar. haha told arron off. :P
i think we became closer after what happened with shekinah. the band split up and kyle got amy to sing for us. she's been such a great fren now. she gives great advice too. She plays well nice classical music for me. its a change from all of the modern stuff tht i play. ahh im gonna miss my two girls :(

So at the end of the day, i cried. lol. when i cried, shekinah cried. leandro followed. and amy did. amy was trying to keep it in tho. and when we were about to leave, suddenly she cried. omg. amy dont ever cry like tht ever again. it makes me feel so damn sad :(

ah well tht was my last day at school. im gonna end it with a picture i took with Jake Daye and Jack Quinn. lol i love playing footie with them. me with my signature pose. my arm biter. from the left: Malaysian Bastard, Londonish Twat, Cornish Midget.lol. jake is like fucking tall :O

oh yh im on holidays now. so i should be able to blog more. lol . ahh words are meaningful. now the proverb a picture is worth a thousand words gets me. im gonna miss ppl so muchh :(

when its gone its gone

2008-07-05T06:17:00.001-07:00

so i admit. its been ages since i last updated. i do actually try to post a new post evry now and then, but i just keep forgetting :D.
since i last updatd, loads have been happening. i joined and quit new bands around my school. i had a fight with my mates but we're alright now :D.

ah. and also i made a really2 big mistake to someone. i was like really2 harsh and inconsiderate. i was so confident in getting somone, but in the end, i just failed. i do want to talk to her, but i said i wouldnt. now i just feel like a faggot for being like that. bet she really hates me now. i admit, ive been too confident regarding girls and such. i always thought that i would never get a no. and now, ive got rejected well and truly for the 1st time. straight in the face. i then told her that i got rejected. who am i kidding? if i thought she was going to give me a great deal of comfort, i was mistaken. she just said 2 words. ahh, what goes around comes around. i let someone down and i got let down myself.

so far i havent been talking to my msian frens lately. i play footie in the evening and i dont get back till around 3 am msian time. no one's online by that time, so i usually just chat with Amy.
she gives a hell lot of advice and everything. its really comforting to talk to her. tho i really feel insuperior. lol

i do think its rather funny. how i actually take things for granted. i always thought that she would be there. people change. in my case drastically. i have grown to be arrogant and big headed. i guess being around the british really did affect me. ah if only i could change back time. but time is gold as they say. i cant very well do the impossible. im stuck with my mistakes that i made. my days are growing shorter now. i dont have much time.

the handful of frens that still cherish me in my home country, i have let down. ahh like i said. if only i could turn back time. the only thing i can do for her is that when i get back, to ring her straight. hopefully then, things will get better.

oh yeah today is khalfan's birthday. happy birthday my tanzania buddy!

And It Starts...Now .

2008-06-04T14:26:00.001-07:00

so i havent posted in a while. sue me :D. besides the fact tht i do not have the time, i didnt have the heart for it. lots of things have been happening these past few days. or weeks. so i'll start with..the pavilion.

so as in my last post said bout my 1st gig. at the pavilion. i met loads of other bands and some were to my liking and some not. there were fucking screamo bands who while screaming touched their dicks. very2 odd. then we made friends with this revolutionary metal band. they were nice guys. but for some reason all 3 songs tht they made up sounded the same. im not a big fan of metal anyways so i couldnt appreciate them. personally its too loud for me. then we were up. the britesides. it was a rather rushed name which was thought up on the spot.

we started off with a thousand miles by vanessa carlton. it had a really nice piano part in it which made me want to play the song. i actually had shekinah to sing for me as i couldnt sing on the night. there were various reasons which i do not wish to share with others :). so back to the gig. so kyle and arron suddenly had stage fright and refused to play the 1st song. so i said to screw themselves. i was out of tempo as some ppl actually found out. but funnily enough being the popular song tht it is, ppl didnt see my mistakes. but i was playing on a keyboard and the amp just fucked the sound to it. not one of my best performances as you will now know ltr. then we played apologise by timbaland. according to mr. mcfarlane ltr on the day of glastonbudget, i was the one who saved the day. kyle and arron after the 1st few secs went out of time and beat. kyle has this really bad problem of playing a wrong beat and keeps playing it till the end. we couldnt very well stop so i just went on.

after our performance, suddenly i got to know tht it was actually an audition to glastonbudget. the biggest music tribute festival in europe. my piano teacher is the organiser of it so thts when the pieces start to fit. asking me to play at this gig in the middle of nowhere and such. so i went back and was so damn sleepy tht i just lay on the bed and slept.

now to glastonbudget 08. glastonbudget as i said is the biggest music tribute festival in the whole of europe. so our band got through. YAY! so i practiced like shit for glaston. so when it was the day before glaston, mrs. oldfield told us our times and when was the sound check and everything. then at around half past 3, we were staying for band practice again, we called to ask if we had to bring the bass guitar. and the girl on the phone said we had to bring the bass amp too. and the bass amp was WELL HEAVY! its like well massive and it took 2 of us to carry it up the stairs. not to say we we're weak but tht thing shouldnt be carried around. never.

we planned to rob the thing anyways but kyle just had to walk past pastoral and mr painter saw him. so we had to make a few phonecalls to the principal and the music teacher. she trusts me anyways so no problemo. i gave the keyboard to arron because i had to take 2 busses from school to get to my house and i cant be asked to carry tht heavy chunk of plastic around.
so on the day of glaston i tot i was late. we were supposed to be there at half past 10. but i reached there like quarter past 11. so when i got there, i saw shekinah and arron. i asked where was kyle. and they didnt have a clue. it turned out tht kyle's mom was sick and she couldnt get out of bed till half past 11 and kyle took the freaking bass guitar with him. HE'S NOT EVEN A FUCKING BASSIST. WHY TAKE THE BASS GUITAR HOME. in the end we had to perform without him and we got quite a crowd tht morning. i was just plain sad tht we couldnt perform without him. it was just incomplete. i got pissed off which led to what happened on monday.

i quit the britesides. not another word said. i quit. i was pissed off with kyle and i refused to be in a band with him anymore. thankfully shekinah said where ever i go, she goes. we're like an item see. im the pianist and she's the vocalist. eventually jhonny and callum said they wanted us to join them so tht led to my new band. havent got a name yet but jhonny is such a damn better drummer than kyle and callum is amazing. though their genre of music is different than what im used to, im sure things will work out. hey im in a tight band now :D

so kyle got to know tht he got kicked out. arron was kicked out too but he's joining us now and he's playing bass. kyle is just causing problems for others. now he's complained to miss joy, our music teacher. he's being a pussy he is. wth man. ur crap. face it. god darn it.

now he's trying to join some other bands but things are not working for him. the year 10 band who used to love him now despise him. he's a little showoff really. he thinks he can play any instrument under the sun but he's crap at all of them. sighh.
so thts the end of my post for today. below are some pictures of glastonbudget and a picture i took with my mom's fren. SHE GAVE ME TWISTIES. oh i swear its like a dream come true. hee.
and alyssa should be back from penang by now. i wonder what kind of sand she brought back for me. hmm..

oh yeah, syanaz and melissa. dont give me the boring lecture of i should use more colours in my blog and everything. i cant be bothered this time. you should just be grateful tht i actually did a new post.

UPDATE! haha

2008-05-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

well its been a hellish long of a time since i actually updated my blog. its been really2 busy for me and stuff so yeah. ill tell about it :D

so i should start with my Summer Breeze Concert. it was well fun! i had been practicing hard for it and in the end it did went smoothly. i went to kyle's place and had my hair done and had the best shower tht ive had in months. haha. i swear it was cool. i caught some pictures though i shouldnt. ill show em. i played with kyle's dad ashes. seriously for the 1st time i actually saw a dead man's ashes with my own eyes. really shocked me it did. and when i came alone to get into the school(i was VIP. haha) suddenly emma came at the door and shouted out my name, FARQUAR! how did i reply to her? just said. emma... but then i had to rehearse again because i missed the dress rehearsal. ah well, who cares anyways?

randomness

Ryan singing Plug in Baby by Muse

Niall bass for Certain Romance by Artic Monkeys

I was pimp for the night. why did my face look like shit? =.=

guitar hero. hahaha

kyle 'gay' weston

Playing with a dead man's ashes. Mr. Weston

haha my best seniors ever. Niall, Josh and Deepish.

Deepish ;P
And after tht i had my SATs. i can honestly say it wasnt one fo the top things tht i wanted to do in uk but heck, i had no choice. fairly easy. but wth who am i kidding? im the top student. of course it was easy :D we celebrated at Maryland this time. i ate 6 chicken wings, a can of soda and chips. Isse, Mr. CheeseBurger thought i couldnt eat tht much. of course i could. and loads
more..

from left: Roman, Leandro, Isse, Mario

eat eat and eat haha

of all pictures, this looks retarded

Impression of Emma Gould

Jaji: whats in there, Leandro?
Leandro: your mom's pussy.
Jaji: do you want proper banging?
Leandro: i'll give your mom a banging
Jaji:....=.=....

Leandro: where the fuck is my paper bag?
Jaji: if you dont find it..i swear i'm gonna..
Leandro: mother of god! khalfan help me find it!
Khalfan: i..just..threw it away
Leandro: WTF!

cant..stop..eating..fuck you mario -.-

TREZOR!

Gay group photo

So today i went to Asda. guess what i found?
MILO!!! i always thought that milo from cans were rather..horrid. but what the heck, its been a long time since, might as well try it. and when i did drink it. i just confirmed what i already knew. MILO IN CANS ARE HORRID.

so tomorrow is my big day! my big big break. im going for my 1st gig! i cnt say how excited i am. shekinah's lucky. she got to be the vocalist. but hey, just for tht song. after its me me and me. so i had to make sure everything went according to plan. so i cleaned my shoes. yes i actually cleaned it. weird aye? and then i put on some brand new laces on them shoes. my mom said it would look queer but it actually looked quite nice. i chose the shoe laces specifically to match my costume for tomorrow. so after loads of scrubbing and washing i finally got my shoes to look brand new! i even applied some spray to make it smell nice. u cnt be too careful! so i bought a new top and belt to match the top. i have to look good for the crowd :D who knows what might happen after this? so i thought that i might just show a sneak preview of my clothes for tomorrow. ill catch them when they are actually on me but hey, it doesnt hurt to show innit? xD

oh yeah. im kinda flirting with emma. well you could say that we are flirting. do i like her? yes i do :D
lovely lovely emma <3